So you’re 41

So let me get this straight. You’re 41.

You’re 41 and feeling old. Your body is tired.

You’ve been exercising more than you every have in your life and pay attention to every bite that goes into your mouth, but your body hurts and is still heavy. Strong, but heavy and weighted down. You feel broken sometimes when your joints betray you and the doctors have no good answers. That’s hard.

You’re 41 and the dream and hope of the Creator knitting together a child from your body and your husband’s body is fading so quickly that sometimes you forget that it’s there.

And when you remember it, it catches you like a lump in your throat, and a burning in your chest, and a leap in your spirit all at once.

You admit that you would gladly welcome a miracle baby, but also enjoy the freedom and sleep that comes with having older kids and teens.

Yes, you’ve got teenagers now, and not one kid in the single digits, except your grandkids, and they aren’t babies anymore either. Yup. Those bonus kiddos are getting older too.

You’re 41 and have been married for longer than half your life. It’s all you know sometimes, being his wife. You’re in a good place. He loves you well. His touch still makes you warm from your ears to your toes. He knows just when you need a tight squeeze and a long, tender kiss.

He’s 41 too and sometimes can be set in his ways like an old man. He can be grumpy and harsh, but is quick to apologize, hug it out, and make things right. You trust him. It’s a good place to be. Also, the streaks of silver in his beard are so sexy.

You’re 41 and it’s a little lonely. Friendships are hard right now. The who, where, and when of friendship complicates the how and surface level becomes the normal. You try to text and be intentional and put things on the calendar, but it all feels very, very hard. You want life-giving, not life-draining. You want to matter.

You’re 41 and have been a mom for quite a while, and through quite a few stages, and you are pretty good at some of the momming things. You have some insights that others are seeking out and that is pretty cool. You’re getting to share more and mentor more and that is a very life-giving thing. You want more of that. You are leaning into that. That feels like it’s where are you are supposed to be.

Yes, even though you’re 41, those little insecurities from teenagehood still creep up, but not as often. You’re much more okay with being who you are now , and you’ve learned a little refinement and courtesy along the way. When you say or do something awkward or embarrassing, you’re the first one to call it out into the open, apologize if necessary, but more often than not you just roll your eyes and laugh. That’s good. Laughter is good at 41.

41 means you are becoming more and more of who you are. You are a great cook and love sharing that love with whomever needs to be filled. You taught yourself to play the ukulele and love singing with your children, filling their minds and hearts with truth and good tunes. You are intentional about building memories and traditions that seem so natural because they just flow out of who you are. You aren’t a party planner, and that’s okay. Bowling and pizza with a few friends is enough. You read at the table almost every night and your children know how much you love doing it. You open The Word with them and teach them. You answer their hard questions. They know they are the good work right now, the very good work, and that is very good indeed.

We’re almost halfway to 42, and that’s a blessing. This story is being woven and you are part of it. What a miracle! It’s okay to look back and wonder how those days slipped through your hands like sand, but looking ahead is the magic of imagination, and the now is the adventure.