What is a woman supposed to do…
When she is losing a baby birthed from her heart?
When the feelings of inadequacy and emptiness that come with infertility have come back full force, and immeasurably stronger than before because now she knows what she’s missing?
When she prayed harder than she’s ever prayed before and the answer is still “no”?
When she is having a hard time trusting her Heavenly Father with her heart because it just hurts too much, and she is afraid?
When going to church breaks her heart because of all the babies EVERYWHERE?
When all she wants to be is someone’s Mommy?
She waits. She waits to see what new adventure is around the corner. She waits and listens and holds onto hope as hard as she can, even when holding onto hope makes it so hard to breathe.
And she worships. Especially when it’s hard, because that’s when it really matters.
And she cries to her friends when she needs to, because some of them really get it, and the ones that don’t choose to love her all the same.
Blessings!
Hannah
Hannah, you nailed this one. I wish I’d known you when we could have gone through some of this together. Altho it might have been twice as hard as we grieved for each other. You keep hoping, my sweet friend. You just cannot see around the bend. Trust that when you take one step after another you WILL get somewhere. I love you and will always be here to pray and listen to your heart…You are a deep well that is filling more and more with the real stuff. Sometimes it’s hard when we can’t fill each other’s well. But I know what it’s like to feel empty and hopeless….and …yet…full of hope at the same time.xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
I have been there and understand your hurt and pain. We had a little girl in our home for 8 months and were hoppig to adopt her. Long story short it was not Gods will and we had to give her back to the birth mother who changed her mind. She changed her mind because she was pg again and said If Im going to have another I might as well have two. She then gave the little baby up for adoption. Keep praising God Hannah. For years I kept myself back from God because I was so angry with Him. Pray for your little ones and those prayers will always go with her where ever she is. I am so sorry for your pain.I pray God gives you another wee one to love on. Do not close your heart.