http://www.stubbornfishtales.com My journey to becoming the "Me" God wants me to be. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:58:36 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/11/28/and-im-still-thankful-on-purpose/ http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/11/28/and-im-still-thankful-on-purpose/#comments Tue, 29 Nov 2011 01:43:31 +0000 Hannah Rae http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/?p=1359 It’s been tough. I failed at the thankfulness countdown. More trauma. The babe might be moved soon. Too soon. We are appealing the decision, but I have no confidence. Jeremiah’s situation is so up in the air. Where will he be? Who can help him? What role are we supposed to play? How much can [...]

]]> http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/11/28/and-im-still-thankful-on-purpose/feed/ 2 http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/10/21/who-is-this-hannah-person-again/ http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/10/21/who-is-this-hannah-person-again/#comments Sat, 22 Oct 2011 03:13:09 +0000 Hannah Rae http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/?p=1311 I’m finally starting to feel like the real me. It is my theory that when you are living in trauma for a really long time, especially when you are required to have extreme self-awareness and self-control during that extended trauma, you start to lose sight of who you really are, because it all becomes a [...]

]]> http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/10/21/who-is-this-hannah-person-again/feed/ 3 http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/06/18/my-week-of-different/ http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/06/18/my-week-of-different/#comments Sun, 19 Jun 2011 02:45:47 +0000 Hannah Rae http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/?p=1280 This week has been very different. Jeremiah is in respite with a good friend who has a therapeutic youth ranch. He’s serving, and hopefully healing. He’s not here. That’s different. Because Jeremiah is not here, I can actually go into the next room without thinking about where everything is and what is missing when I [...]

]]> http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/06/18/my-week-of-different/feed/ 2 http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/06/05/this-week/ http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/06/05/this-week/#comments Mon, 06 Jun 2011 01:19:44 +0000 Hannah Rae http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/?p=1272 This week I hope that… My garden seeds will finally get here, and that the weather will cooperate so I can actually get them in the ground. Jeremiah will use his head instead of his butt (our new catchphrase) and will find other ways of amusing himself other than finding ways to try to piss [...]

]]> http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/06/05/this-week/feed/ 0 http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/05/29/when-an-infertile-woman-suddenly-has-a-baby/ http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/05/29/when-an-infertile-woman-suddenly-has-a-baby/#comments Mon, 30 May 2011 01:43:33 +0000 Hannah Rae http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/?p=1265 When an infertile woman suddenly has a baby… She realizes just how right she was that something was missing. She realizes how much she loves her husband and how amazing he is. She realizes how holding a baby (especially in a moby wrap) makes people react to you differently. (More on that soon.) She prays [...]

]]> http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/05/29/when-an-infertile-woman-suddenly-has-a-baby/feed/ 3 http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/03/29/f-u-n-k/ http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/03/29/f-u-n-k/#comments Wed, 30 Mar 2011 01:48:54 +0000 Hannah Rae http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/?p=1158 Not sure exactly why I’m feeling this way. A lot of frustration building up. A lot of anxiety. Hormones? I don’t even know, and that’s part of the frustration. Other women can look at the calendar and have at least SOME explanation for their irrational emotions. I have the irrationality FIRST and then maybe, MAYBE [...]

]]> http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/03/29/f-u-n-k/feed/ 6 http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/02/17/breathing/ http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/02/17/breathing/#comments Thu, 17 Feb 2011 19:43:10 +0000 Hannah Rae http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/?p=1103 I feel like I can breathe today. It’s not much, but I’m beyond survival. I am so thankful. I am so thankful for a husband who is willing to drop everything and tell his boss and co-workers that his wife needs him…for the rest of the week. It’s one good thing about technology-based jobs. They [...]

]]> http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/02/17/breathing/feed/ 1 http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/01/29/thankful/ http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/01/29/thankful/#comments Sat, 29 Jan 2011 23:58:31 +0000 Hannah Rae http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/?p=1045 Lord, I thank you for the cramps I am currently experiencing. I thank you for the light-headedness , the exhaustion, and the nausea. I thank you that this is the second time in three months I am experiencing these symptoms. I thank you because you are healing my body and bringing it back into proper [...]

]]> http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/01/29/thankful/feed/ 1 http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/01/28/about-faith-trust-and-babies/ http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/01/28/about-faith-trust-and-babies/#comments Sat, 29 Jan 2011 03:15:09 +0000 Hannah Rae http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/?p=1042 I love a good discussion with intelligent people who actually listen, process, and then share their thoughts and opinions. Two such discussions with good friends have got my mind and heart pondering again. Do I really trust the Lord with my fertility? Do I really believe that my husband’s and my baby-making is a faith [...]

]]> http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2011/01/28/about-faith-trust-and-babies/feed/ 2 http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2010/07/17/just-some-more-bullet-points/ http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/2010/07/17/just-some-more-bullet-points/#comments Sun, 18 Jul 2010 01:10:23 +0000 Hannah Rae http://www.stubbornfishtales.com/?p=909 It’s been rough. I’m frustrated because I feel like all I’ve been able to write about lately is how rough it’s been. I’m having trouble remembering the amazing good things that really do go on because the trauma of the….traumatic things seem to wash them out of my brain. I apologize for that. You see, [...]

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