Posted by Hannah Rae on Apr 12, 2010 in
Life in the Stubborn house We have a lot of professionals in our lives.
1 foster care worker
1 foster care intern
2 boys’ caseworkers
2 boys’ doctors
2 adoption workers
1 counselor
and now….1 parent support specialist!
Apparently there is this program in our county where DHS has parent support peeps to come out and help stressed out parents. We were referred by an awesome DHS person after some major trauma, and when he asked if I would be interested I told him abso-stinkin’-lutley! Anyone who is coming to SUPPORT ME is a plus.
So we had our first meeting today, and it went marvelously. The program is really flexible, so we can use the 2 hours a week however I need to . HOWEVER I NEED TO! If that’s working on resources and new ideas for discipline techniques, cool! If it’s me breaking down in a heap of tears to someone who doesn’t think I’m nutso, AWESOME! She’s mine! For 2 whole hours! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
The funny thing is that this program is through our licensing agency, who we’ve been working for/with for 6 years now, and our foster care worker didn’t tell me about it, which is really not like her. Maybe she just didn’t think it was necessary, I don’t know. But as much as I can’t wait to get all these caseworkers on their merry way, I don’t mind adding one more professional in for the moment. Especially this one.
YAY!
Blessings!
Hannah
| Tags: Adoption, foster care, parenting, RAD, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Oct 11, 2009 in
Laughter Lives Tuesday It’s been a day that is feeling like three.
Since my little hazel eyes opened this morning it has been a battle of wills with Jeremiah.
- He’s been sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to play playstation. I bought a new doorknob for the basement door that locks.
- He broke into the medicine cabinet and stole Gabe’s PSP. Not sure what to do about that one. The stinker jimmied it with a screwdriver. Darn you Walmart and your cheap filing cabinet locks!!!
- He hid his pants. So he went to church in his PJ’s.
- He hit his head against the wall. I held him in a basket hold until he was ready to cry and ask me for a hug.
- He is being loud and obnoxious and laughing hysterically. I am trying my best to ignore his behavior and keep his older brother from strangling him.
I am doing my best to think like some of the great moms I have met through their blogs. Moms like Christine and Lisa. Any help, moms?
Lord, please give me wisdom and patience. Thank you for the wonderful women who prayed over me today. Please be my strength.
Blessings!
Hannah
| Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, foster care, parenting
Posted by Hannah Rae on Sep 19, 2009 in
Life in the Stubborn house What’s with foster kids and stuff?
Both of my boys have a huge case of the gimmes! Especially Jeremiah. Neither have a good sense of money, which I can understand, but what’s with all the materialism crap?
I understand the psychology behind it, I suppose, but it still doesn’t make any sense to me. Jeremiah talks constantly about things he was given and how expensive they are. During a time of being corrected, he even said that he doesn’t want to live here because we didn’t buy him enough for his birthday. At this point I am dreading Christmas because our agency has a program call operation cheer that will get the boys a bunch of presents they don’t need, and we are going to have to decide what to do with all of it. Kaleb’s response to that was, “Why are they giving them stuff? That’s MY responsibility.”
So, any suggestions? How have you handled rampant materialism in your families? How do you handle charity situations?
Blessings!
Hannah
| Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, foster care, parenting
Posted by Hannah Rae on Sep 8, 2009 in
Life in the Stubborn house I feel like I failed the first day of school test.
Okay, not all of it. I got the boys up on time, even though we didn’t get back from our trip to my mom’s until very late. I made them a hot breakfast and avoided my eldest’s attempts to pick a fight over whether or not he was going to take his medication. I got the boys to school on time, and I think I even avoided embarrassing Gabe on the front steps. I got Jeremiah to the elementary side…and that’s where the trouble started. Miah was fine, but I went into the elementary principal’s office to make sure everything was good and the principal pulls me aside. She looked panicked. In hindsight, it was kind of humorous that one little boy could make a grown woman look like that.
“How can you just expect to throw him into school like this?” She said in a very not-happy voice. Basically she was upset because they had no background on him and therefore had no plan in place.
I told her that I understood her frustration, but that he was only officially placed with us two weeks ago, and therefore we had very little official background information to offer them. I was barely even able to enroll him in school because our caseworker only got us his file with his birth certificate and immunization records in it a week ago. I basically gave them a rough background, as far as I knew, and spoke to his teacher as well. I felt so unprepared.
So, now I’ve searched through his file more thoroughly and found a functional behavioral assessment dated December of 08 and a IEP-like progress report dated April of this year. Hopefully that will help. Hopefully they will understand that these are dated and that he has made incredible progress since then.
Breathe.
No emergency calls, so that’s good.
So, calling all super moms! I am so full of questions. How much do I tell the school? How much do I share with his teacher? I don’t want them to see my boy as a diagnosis. What’s the balance between assertive and cooperative?
I feel like I am swimming in the middle of Lake Superior with this one. (That means I’m surrounded by miles and miles and miles of water, surrounded by waves that can overtake the largest boats for those of you land-locked friends.) Was that a forced analogy? I don’t know. It’s how I’m feeling right now.
Two hours of school left. We can do this.
Oh, and Kaleb is in LA this week, which makes things all the worse. Jeremiah did not like the idea of Dad being away, and Gabe is convinced he’s going to screw up.
God is with me. I can feel it. I need more of His peace.
Blessings!
Hannah
| Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, foster care, Learning differences, parenting
Posted by Hannah Rae on Aug 28, 2009 in
Life in the Stubborn house Jeremiah has had a rough couple of days. You know that amazing, inspired listening ladder God put in my brain to create? Yeah, we’ve definitely been using it. The first few days Miah kept his place at the top three rungs. These past few days have been spent on the bottom two. Ick!
Last night there were showering issues. Lying about being in the shower while actually being fully dressed and letting the water run. Getting in the shower, getting head wet, but not washing. Lying about not washing after Mom discovers (quite easily) that there was no washing. Getting back in the shower and again lying about washing. FINALLY washing after Mom stands by shower with step by step washing instructions. And YES this kid DOES know how to wash on his own.
It was a bit ridiculous.
This morning, continual silliness and instruction avoidance. The cute stuff is not going to fly kiddo. Once finally in the car, they sympathy ploy.
“Mom, I don’t think I’m the right son for you.” in his best cutesie voice EVER!
Good try buddy. I think I said something amazingly brilliant about how God has chosen him to be part of our family and how Dad and I have to be tough because it’s the job God has given us.
God is teaching me a lot about mom-ing right now. I am hoping this evening is better.
| Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, foster care, parenting
Posted by Hannah Rae on Aug 26, 2009 in
Life in the Stubborn house A year ago we were kid-less. We were working toward adopting a little girl. I was finishing up teaching summer school and looking for a more permanent job. My sister was just coming back from China, and my hubby was traveling a lot, so my critters kept me company.
Now, only 12 months later, I am Mom to two boys. The little girl is no longer in the picture, although I think of Grace often. Just after I celebrate my 1 year anniversary at my first grown-up job, I will be laid off. I am waiting to get a phone call that will tell me whether the dream job I interviewed for will come through. My sister is home and working crazy hours so I still barely get to see her, but thankfully my hubby is traveling less and is able to spend much more time with his growing family.
God is a god of adventure. I truly believe that. This whirlwind of a year is evidence.
I am waiting to see who or what comes next and praying for grace and joy along the way.
| Tags: Adoption, faith, foster care, marriage, parenting
Posted by Hannah Rae on Aug 21, 2009 in
Life in the Stubborn house,
Uncategorized Jeremiah comes home today! FOR GOOD!!!
(Insert crazy happy dance here)
I have been in major mom-prep-mode for the past few days.
One of the things we realized after Gabe came home is that our boys can not handle “normal” freedom and typical discipline. the need to know what’s expected of them and what the consequences will be in far more detail than typical children. So, we learned our lesson and are putting a motivation system in place with Miah right away.
This is the motivation system that I believe the Lord gave me for Jeremiah.
This chart was totally inspired. One of those things that you just feel comes from the outside in and then through your fingers. I brought it to Office Max and had them print it on 11×14 poster paper and then laminate it so that we can write the privileges in the boxes on the left with dry erase markers and change them as needed. Total cost was $3.48, plus little velcro dots. We are hoping it will help wean our little guy off of the point system he’s been on for the past 2 years.
So, tonight’s the night. This little guy will officially be part of the household. Our adventure begins!
| Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, foster care, parenting
Posted by Hannah Rae on Aug 17, 2009 in
Life in the Stubborn house I dropped my baby boy off at day camp this morning. He was so brave, but very obviously nervous.
We made his lunch last night. PB&J on whole grain bread, freshly picked pea pods, and freshly picked blueberries. Very nutritious, but also very fibrous. Maybe not the best choice for a kid who has never been to day camp before.
The conversation this morning was as follows:
“Sorry, Mom. I’m a little gassy.”
“Are you a little nervous?”
“Nooo….” With a nervous giggle.
We’ll see how he is after I pick him up.
He was nervous last night. He was afraid he would do something to get into trouble. I told him all he needed to do was put on his listening ears and follow instructions and he would be fine. He was afraid he wouldn’t make any friends.
“You’re a great kid! What’s not to like?”
Jeremiah had a tough day yesterday. I think Gabe was getting a kick out of it, because for once he was not the one under the parental microscope. Kaleb and I were very grateful that Gabe stepped up to the leader position when Miah was having such a rough time. Jeremiah has never stayed longer than a weekend before, so his internal clock was telling him it was time to go back to the group home. He even told me at one point “I think I should go back ‘cuz I can’t behave.” Good try, buddy. 
We love you and you are staying.
I did discover that Miah is incredibly talented at speed-cleaning…when he wants to. His room is officially unpacked and organized. Way to go! This morning he brought down his back pack and neatly folded extra clothes and bragged “My room is still neat!” It’s a good thing to take pride in, especially for this usually messie little guy. As we left, he also smiled and said “This (backpack) makes me feel like the first day of school!” Keep that enthusiasm, kiddo.
So today was a big step for him. I can’t wait to hear his stories, of which he will have plenty. I haven’t gotten any emergency calls, so that’s a good sign.
Blessings!
Hannah
***Update***
I decided to give Jeremiah a mohawk last night. My absent-minded brain forgot to take pictures. I will make sure to take some today.
| Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, foster care, parenting
Posted by Hannah Rae on Aug 16, 2009 in
Life in the Stubborn house blowing out the dust within.
Wind. Growing up on the Florida coast, I know winds power. It can be destructive and cause insurmountable chaos.
And then there’s the wind that has been rushing through this house this weekend. A wonderful sweet breeze, bringing incredible fragrance and coolness as we finally get some summer temperatures. It reminds me of God’s whispers of peace. It’s been pretty stormy in this house lately with so much stress, change, and chaos, but the wind reminds me of God’s continual whispers of peace.
We are better today. The trauma of this past week has faded. I still have a smashed bumper, and job crap is still happening for both of us, but we have renewed perspective. Renewed intimacy. It’s a good thing.
We got to go to the lake yesterday. FINALLY! The first spot we went to was short lived because of the frigidly cold water, but I am glad we went because I got to see and pet an Irish Wolfhound. My favorite breed EVER! I also got to chat with another local adoptive mom who just brought her son home from Haiti two months ago. This is there second Haitian child, and I am obsessed with Haiti, so I love to chat with her. If the Lord ever does lead us to adopt internationally, I know who to talk to .
Anywho, we got a tip from Kaleb’s papa that the water was warmer at another beach. I figure it’s because this beach is in a bay. Anywho, the water was indeed warmer and we got to swim for a good hour before Rachel had to be back for work. The cool water felt so good. I’m not very athletic, but I am a great swimmer, so it felt good for my muscles to be doing what they love to do.
Kaleb tried to get the boys to let him launch them into the water. I was surprised at how scared they both were. My adventurous, dare devil boys? Not want to do something daredevil-ish? He got one good launch out of each of them, and then they were done. We’ll have to work on that.
Anywho, I am glad that the weekend was a refreshing one. We needed it so badly. This next week is Jeremiah’s official move-in week, although he already has most of his stuff here. He is so excited. So are we.
It’s an adventure. I’m just glad I don’t have to go on it alone.
Blessings!
Hannah
| Tags: Adoption, family fun, foster care, marriage, parenting
Posted by Hannah Rae on Aug 6, 2009 in
Laughter Lives Tuesday BOO! BOO, HISS!
GRRRR!
GRRRR to the company!!! Boo to a company that is supposed to care for children but is putting the $$$ first! Boo to a company that won’t let a little boy go home because they can’t afford to lose the money he brings in! Boo to a supervisor who won’t stand up for what she knows is right just because her bosses will have a hissie fit!
YAY for the employees who are doing everything they can to stand up for what my son needs! TO GO HOME!!!
YAY for a God who knows my little boy’s heart and will gaurd him from any harm.
***Update***
I just got a call from the group home consultant. The 21st is the day. It was a good compromise. I kept my cool. YAY spirit of peace.
| Tags: Adoption, foster care, parenting
