Posted by Hannah Rae on Sep 30, 2009 in
Life in the Stubborn house I’m home.
Today was my last day in the workforce, at least for a while.
It’s weird how God works behind the scenes when we have no idea.
I posted a long while ago about how my heart was torn between staying in the workforce and pursuing being a stay at home mom, or home manager. 
(I would love to like to it, but I am having major linking issues that I will hopefully be able to figure out. ARGHH)
At that time my heart was really conflicted, especially since Kaleb was not comfortable at that time with the idea of me staying home.
Well, things have changed.
I was laid off, effective today, due to the effects of Michigan’s failing economy, so I am basically being sent home, but still get a paycheck due to unemployment. Go figure. Our boys are really struggling right now due to school stress, and the trauma we’ve endured as a family with Grandma Helen’s death. They are both acting out in their own ways and need a lot more one on one attention than we have seen before. Hubby person is going to be doing some traveling this month and was really worried about Gabe’s behavior regressing. Hubby person has also been contracted by a major clothing designer to do some consistent website work, which will basically replace my lost income plus some, at least for the time being.
All of these factors make my being a new stay at home mom not only a possibility, but a reality we might actually benefit from. We don’t know if it’s just for a season, or if I won’t go back to work for a very long time, but for now we have total peace, and even joy, about my stickin’ around the homestead.
I actually love doing domestic-type things, and am really excited about the opportunity to explore that part of my womanhood more. I am already planning out a cleaning/organizing schedule for myself, as well as planning fun little projects to keep myself occupied and free from depression. (i.e. learning to knit something other than washcloths, working on the boys’ life books, giving this blog some bling) We can’t home school the boys right now, and I wouldn’t want to until we had a clear “Yes” from the Lord that I would be home more long term, so that is not something I will be dealing with right away. I am also really excited about getting some walking in with the poochies before we start to see the four letter white stuff, which could be within just a few weeks.
Anywho, I’m in for an adventure. I am excited to join, what I consider, the very prestigious club of stay at home moms. I just hope that I can discipline myself enough to spend time seeking the Lord’s face about what this adventure truly means.
Blessings!
Hannah
| Tags: Adoption, faith, finances, marriage, parenting, prayer, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Sep 9, 2009 in
Life in the Stubborn house,
faith I want to share a little story about God’s big faithfulness.
We went to my mother’s this past weekend to spend some badly needed time with her, as well as enjoy a Christian music festival. We have all been going through a lot of changes and stresses lately, and this vacation was something we needed in order to be refreshed. Kaleb was actually able to come, which is not always the case due to his responsibilities at work, and he was looking forward to it immensely.
All was going well until we got a call a day before we were leaving from my husband’s cousin who had agreed to stay with our dogs while we were gone. He said that he could no longer watch the dogs, but that another cousin would be able to. That was fine, so plans continued. 5 hours after we left on our trip we got a call from the first cousin saying that he couldn’t get a hold of the second cousin because she was away camping. The first cousin said that he couldn’t take care of the dogs, and what should he do. This is a grown man by the way. Our dogs had been home alone 5 hours at this point, so I told him that he needed to go sleep over there for the night and that we would find someone to take care of the them tomorrow.
Now, Kaleb is a pessimist. He is convinced that Murphy follows us and loves to torture us. He was convinced we needed to turn around and go home. We stopped at a wayside (I love that they are actually called waysides. As in “fall by the wayside.” Hehe.) and we prayed. We prayed because God knew we needed this break as a family and we claimed that He would come through with someone to watch our dogs, but that if we needed to go home we would.
We called a friend for whom we have dog sat before. At 11 PM. He was up and he agreed not only to watch the dogs, but to bring them back to his home, with a fenced in yard.
Yes. God cares about dog-sitters.
We got to my mom’s safely and enjoyed a restful night (morning actually). We had driven through the night, so once we got up at noon, we were all lounging in our jammies in my mom’s living room. Kaleb had to get some work done on his laptop, so Mom and Rachel went to town to do some errands and we were planning on meeting up with them later. Eventually, Kaleb’s laptop started to run low on power, and as he reached into his bag to get his power cord I saw his face go white.
“It’s not here. I left my power cord at home!”
He knew exactly where it was. It was plugged in next to our bed. He had left it there after taking a meeting in our bedroom the day before.
Now normally this would not be a big deal. Many laptops have similar power adapters and it’s typically not difficult to find one that will work. This was not the case. My hubby’s business laptop is a business class HP, which apparently has an annoyingly unique power adapter. Again, in normal circumstances no reason to panic, we would be going home in a few days, but Kaleb was not heading home with us. He was flying directly from my home town to Los Angeles to meet with big wigs about big projects of which all the information for was on his laptop…with very little power left.
Panic set in. Kaleb was nearly ready to jump in the car and head back to the U.P. (a 13 hour drive) simply to get his power cord. He was angry at himself, and convinced that his “foolishness” had ruined the trip for everyone.
I prayed. I prayed that there would be a solution. He couldn’t pray at this point, so I prayed for him.
He searched online and found that B*st B*y had a universal adapter that might work. But it was expensive. And the store might not have it in stock.
I prayed. I prayed to my Heavenly Father that He would help. That he would not only have the adapter be in stock, but that it would be on sale.
Can you guess what happened? Do you know how crazy faithful my God is about even the little things?
Not only did they have the adapter in stock, but it was more than 50% off. (I’m tearing up over this.) Not only that, but it WORKED!!!
God saved our trip. Every time the enemy tried to trip us up, God intervened because He knows our hearts and He KNEW we needed this family time. Or maybe he intervened simply so I could write this post to tell you that HE CARES! Even about the little things.
He cares about sales on school clothes and where you put that important piece of paper. He cares because He loves you! If you stop your busy mind and take the time to ask Him, He will help!
Now, I know it doesn’t always work exactly the way we want it too. Sometimes things just suck, but God is still there in those moments. Sometimes, I just have to take the time to ask Him what he wants me to hear in those sucky situations. God is not scared by our questions. He welcomes them, because at least we are coming to him.
1 Peter 5:7 (Amplified Bible)
7Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.
Blessings!
Hannah
| Tags: bargain shopping, Being set apart, faith, finances, prayer
Posted by Hannah Rae on Aug 14, 2009 in
Life in the Stubborn house,
faith So yesterday was tough. Today would prove to be tougher.
Got in a minor fender bender. First thing that goes through my mind is Kaleb’s gonna be pissed . It’s been one of those weeks. Everything is on edge. Every decision being questioned. It’s both of us. Both of us are cranky. I just tend to go internal, where as his upset-ness tends ot be more visible. Me, it ends up coming out in tears later on about something stupid. Then it all comes spilling out.
But I digress.
I got in a minor fender bender. I was turning right with a bunch of other cars on a green light when the truck in front of me stopped very suddenly. I hit their bumper. I was going very slow, but the impact still pushed me back a little. I turned on my signal to pull over, but the truck kept going. Did they even feel it? Apparently not. I decided to drive the 1 block to my office. I surveyed the damage. My bumper is cracked and the shiny stuff displaced, but nothing major. Nothing structural. I went into my office to call my insurance company (not the cops. I’ll get to that later.) but didn’t get the chance because I was immediately pulled aside by our office assistant and told that our Executive Director wanted to speak to us, and that it was bad news. How bad? Well, the way M. described it was that she asked our boss on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad, 1 being we get a cookie, and 10 being excruciatingly, painfully bad, how bad? It was a 10. Not good.
So, I work for a non-profit. A non-profit who’s funding depends on a funding corporation. A non-profit who’s funding is always in the balance depending on the state’s grants etc… Did I mention I live in Michigan? The state with the highest unemployment rate in the country? The state making the news a lot, and not usually in good ways?
So, our funding is being cut. We just found out today that as of October 1st, my job, and the equivalent specialists across the state will probably not exist any more.No more job. Ick!
The blessing is that God decided to give me a prequel of his providence by giving me a call yesterday from an organization that wants me to interview for a teaching position at a new preschool, and for a very competetive wage. Possibly even equivalent to what I’m making now. AND TEACHING!!!! YAY!!!! And they called me! The program director for the whole organization called me and said that she was impressed with me through the interactions we’ve had through my current position and she wanted to make sure she gave me a call. There are limited positions available, so she wanted to make sure I was on the short list. That’s a good sign, right?
So my heart has hope, but it is also very overwhelmed with a very overwhelming, emotionally taxing week.
But let’s end by couting our blessings
- Jeremiah is home. He is almost home for good. He is being the sweetest, happiest little boy and I am so glad that I get to experience his love.
- The fender bender today was very minor. The police officer didn’t even think it was worth a write-up. Especially since the pick-up drove off.
- God gave me an interview before I even knew I needed one.
- There are more blessings coming than I could ever imagine.
| Tags: finances, marriage
Posted by Hannah Rae on Jul 6, 2009 in
Life in the Stubborn house I need suggestions…solutions…IDEAS!!!
I like my job. I get to help families and work with some awesome ladies.
I hate my job. I am away from my family. I feel like I am never home. I fundamentally disagree with much of what I do becauseI help parents find child care for their brand new babies before they are even born when all I want to do is be home with my kids. I want to home school Jeremiah, but that is obviously not an option right now. I can’t even get Gabe to his appointments without A LOT of begging and pleading.
My wonderful hubby is just not ready to be a one income family.
What can I do?
I live in a very limited area, so simply finding a more flexible job is probably not an option. Also, because of our small population, the usual work-from-home businesses are not profitable here. I am going to try to talk to my boss about options for the school year, but I do n’t see that as very promising. If I can at least figure out how I can be home by the time the boys get off the bus, that would be AWESOME!
I have my BS in Early Childhood Development, if that helps at all. No, I will not open a day care because of my boys’ issues and my critters. Yes, I would love to help families dealing with behavior/discipline issues, but am unsure as to how to turn that into income.
Please, awesome, creative, innovative moms out there, help me! Help me come up with ideas of how we can make this work. Help me know how to hear the voice of God above all the naysayers.
Blessings!
Hannah
***Update***
I suppose I should give a little more back ground on the situation. I’m used to thinking/talking this through that I forget that if I don’t type the details, there’s no way you would know. Some of this is in response to the wonderful comment by Raising Olives.
We have been very blessed. My husband has a good, not great, but good paying job that for the first time in our young married life we are financially stable. Mostly. Here are a few barriers to my desire to be a full time SAHM.
1. We have two houses. We DO NOT WANT two houses. We have had our other house for sale for 2 years with no success. We had renters, but now renters are gone. If we can get the house sold, that would be a HUGE barrier gone.
2. My husband is stressed. He is very good at his job, but unfortunately that means that his company continues to pile on the work load. Kaleb has a very hard time saying “No! Enough!” because he feels it would be a threat to his job. There is a lot of fear there, which is why he doesn’t feel comfortable losing my income.
3. Student loans. I have them. Now, compared to the national average, I am doing really well, but the hubby feels that if I am not working in my field I am wasting the 40k that we spent/are spending on my education. I disagree and feel that my education is best used helping our family and any kids/families that could benefit from my knowledge as well, for pay or not.
4. A lack of things to cut. It has been suggested that we cut the extra stuff. A second car is vital in our situation since we live in the middle of nowhere and my husband and I travel opposite directions to go to work. If I were at home, I would still probably need my car in order to get the kiddos to appointments etc… It’s just part of living here. Thankfully, God has blessed us with good, inexpensive vehicles that are not a huge burden. We could definitely cut the cable, and I have suggested it MULTIPLE TIMES but the rest of the family is not in agreement with this. Again, I suppose it’s because we live to far away from civilization that when it’s rainy or snowing (9 months out of the year) there is sense of relief to know you can just turn on the tube. We very rarely eat out, again because of proximity, but this is a luxury that the hubby likes to treat us to now and then. Part of it is that he likes to give. He likes that he can take us out to eat, buy us cool gadgets etc… I think it’s hard for him to feel restricted in that area. Like he’s not even getting to enjoy the fruits of his hard work. I don’t know anything else we could cut. I only get clothes when the ones I am wearing wear out (literally), and I am a huge fan of rummage sales and restores.
5. Matters of the heart. I am totally willing to submit, and am doing so every day I go to work. He’s not forcing me at all, and is not cruel, but his implications are clear. I know that if I were given the clear, unconditional, real choice, I would chose to be home. I feel hurt by the implications that I would be wasting my education at home. I feel trapped and afraid that I may never get to fulfill my dream of being at home with a baby at my breast (yeah, that comes in here too). He feels hurt by the implication that it is assumed he will just do it all. He feels trapped and afraid in a job that he feels may fall out from under his feet at any moment. So you see, this is a loaded issue.
In matters of faith, I have prayed and cried out about this and other related issues. The problem is I have a hard time discerning God’s heart over the pounding I hear of my own.
| Tags: faith, finances, marriage, parenting
