Just some more bullet points

• It’s been rough. I’m frustrated because I feel like all I’ve been able to write about lately is how rough it’s been. I’m having trouble remembering the amazing good things that really do go on because the trauma of the….traumatic things seem to wash them out of my brain. I apologize for that. You see, not wanting to come off as a whiner has made me fearful of writing anything…so I don’t. I don’t like that.
• In response to the above, as well as my husband’s prodding to develop and utilize my creative writing gifts, I am setting a personal goal for myself to write at least 2 short stories a week. I will try to share as many as those as I can. I recently came upon some old stories and poems that I penned in high school. I think it would be fun to share those as well.
• As a birthday present, my amazingly gifted geek (aka Hubby) is helping me fix some of these blog bugs that I am frustrated with. The biggest issues that I want to fix are:
  • Being able to link series’ of posts together is currently very cumbersome. I want it to be easy to follow story lines and find answers to questions that fall under specific topics.
  • I need a better way to display and organize my short stories in safe ways.
  • I want the blog to look a lot more friendly and Hannah-ish.
  • Suggestions?
• The boys and I still have a week left in Minnesota. It’s been an adventure….hence the “Without Daddy Adventures.” We had a bonfire tonight since it was the first night sense we’ve been here without massive westward winds. After some sausage mishaps, I finally had the light bulb moment to use the cast iron skillet my papa got at an estate auction last year. YAY! It worked wonderfully.
• I’ve really been enjoying Lauraine Snelling’s Red River series lately. I love historical fiction, especially that era. Plus that series, as well as many of her other books, are about people with Norwegian ancestry, of which I am. Something about the late 1800′s on the prairie fascinates me. I think I would have made a good pioneer woman. I’ve definitely got the hips for it. Although it would definitely be harder to be an infertile woman in that era, but I often wonder if that would have been an issue for me without all these environmental contributors that we have today. Wow! That could totally turn into another post.
• It’s Hubby’s and my marriage anniversary today. No, not that one. Nope, not that one either. Yes! That one! The first one! The real one! We were so young, and “stupid” as my hubby said earlier today, but we’ve made it! And we are so glad that we’ve come this far. We’re stronger now than I ever imagined. He’s my love.
• Goodness sakes I miss his smell right now.
• Oh! Like I said, we had a bonfire tonight, but I totally didn’t take any pictures. I’ve been finding out lately I’m very bad at that part of mommy-ing because I am usually way to caught up  in the moment to think of grabbing the camera until it’s over and I realize I would have really liked pictures. Oh well.
• Did I mention I love my husband? Like LOTS! And I miss him so crazy much it literrally aches, especially today. I am in desperate need of some lovin’. I’m used to like a bazillion hugs and kisses a day, and the most affection I’ve been getting lately is from my bird.
• God has really been pulling me into Him lately for all the reasons above. So many things wrecking me day and night. I just wish I could discipline myself to hide in Him more. Learning.
• Oh! Last but not least…I need comments! Like seriously! I know that more people than my dad and friends Amanda and Christine read my blog, so PLEASE let me know you are there. If you read a post and don’t have anything to say, that’s fine. At least say “Hey! I read your blog!”  K? K.

TTFN

Tah tah for now!

Blessings!

Hannah

3 comments so far (is that a lot?) | Tags: behavior challenges, blogging, family fun, marriage, parenting, The SAHM Adventure

Manners work. Even at 3:30 AM. From the “Without Daddy Adventures.”

Saturday night at about 10:00 PM, my dad, step-mom, lil’ sister, sons and I left for the Minneapolis air port. I knew that we were expecting to get to the air port at about 4:30 AM, so I had called our hotel to see if we could get an early check-in, like 6 AM. Nope. Not happenin’. The gal I spoke to told me she couldn’t guarantee me anything from another person’s shift, and that I would need to call the person on shift at the time, but that the earliest we would probably be able to check in would be 10 or 11. Ugh. Not good.

So…we get to the airport at 3:00 AM. A whole hour earlier than anticipated. I was wired the whole drive and couldn’t get any sleep, which is unusual for me. Anywho, after dropping the parentals and sister off, we easily found our way to our hotel. It was big…like tall. I’ve never stayed in a hotel that tall before.

Anywho, the guy at the front desk was lounging in a chair and came to the door to meet me. I explained to him our situation, how I had been up all night, and how we had booked a room but didn’t anticipate getting here this early etc…At first Peter (I always try to learn names) said that they were completely full, but then noticed that we had booked a suite, that we were Elite members (thank you to Hubby’s business trips) and that we were using points to pay for our suite.  He told me there was nothing he could do because we were already into the next business day. I calmly and politely asked him to please check again. He found out that he actually had a suite available, but he would have to charge me the Saturday rate (which was a lot). I told him that it wasn’t really acceptable to pay that much just because I couldn’t use my points, especially since it was already 3:30.

Anywho, after calling the Elite line, and few more pleases and thank yous a yes sirs, Peter said that he could charge us for 1/2 night’s stay, which came out to $5 more than what we would pay with points…and we would keep our points. YAY! I thanked Peter immensely and told him what a huge help he was.

So at 3:30 AM, the boys and I had a place to sleep. And sleep we did. And as we said our good nights (in the early morning) I reminded the boys how we got the room. I didn’t yell, scream, and make a scene, I simply let the man know our needs and was polite, assertive, and more polite.

Every time they see this, I hope it sinks in a little more. I hope that I am not only showing Christ’s love to the strangers I encounter, but my sons as well.

Blessings! (To you especially, Peter)

Hannah

1 comment so far | Tags: Being set apart, family fun

Stories from the “Without Daddy Adventures”

So the boys and I are officially on our own in Northern MN for the next 10 days. We dropped the parentals and lil’ sis off at the Minneapolis airport early Sunday morning after driving through the night. Now we are back up north, enjoying the quit.

But….

The past the days have been full of all kinds of stories. Here are the highlights that I will do my best to expand upon.

• If you are kind and polite, even at 3:30 PM, people will do their best, even go out of their way to help you. This is a lesson I want my boys to see over and over and over again.
• The Mall of America is not nearly as intimidating as I remember.
• Blessing my boys with fun times with mama unconditionally was totally and completely AMAZING! BUT Jeremiah can not handle good things YET (I say with hope), and I definitely paid for it later.
• Beating my boys, especially Gabe, at cards is SO MUCH FUN!!!!
• Gabe will never be a taxi driver or professional navigator. But we got our pizza eventually.
• A friendly Israeli + Dead Sea salt scrub + 2 boys + ADHD = A mama nearly peeing her pants laughing. (“MOM! MY HANDS HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS SOFT!!!”)
• Even Jerome gets sick of pizza eventually.

Blessings!

Hannah

2 comments so far (is that a lot?) | Tags: behavior challenges, family fun, parenting, RAD

Just me and the boys. I can do it! Right?

Well, let’s see.

2 boys with attachment issues + 2 weeks with Mom – Dad = Yeah…..

We are leaving tomorrow for 2 weeks house-sitting for my daddy. Hubby is not able to come with. Both boys have been very Hubby-needy lately regardless of the trip. Jeremiah especially has been trying to sabotage all day. For the moment, we’ve got things somewhat regulated and the fears and lies called out for what they are. It will be a long night. It will be a long two weeks. Praying that I’m wrong. Praying for wisdom and patience.

It’s hot. I’m hormonal and missing my hubby. Praying for patience and grace. Even hoping for JOY!

Still no date for Jeremiah. Urgh.

Blessings!

Hannah

No comments yet | Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, family fun, marriage, parenting, prayer, RAD, The SAHM Adventure

I’ve been thinking…in bullet points.

• I’ve been really blessed to bless some more new mamas recently. I’m getting through baby shower season pretty well, and am really enjoying the friendship with some awesome women. I really love being able to be a part of these little one’s lives, as well as encouraging their parents and offering to babysit whenever, and I mean it!
• I have found an unlikely friend in the mom of one of Jeremiah’s teammates. She is 44, also an adoptive mom, and has worked in the social work and child care field for a long time. We chat at the games, ride together whenever possible, and are really enjoying eachother’s “knowing-ness”. She has been very real with me, and I am extremely thankful for that, even if what she has to say is not always easy to hear….aka, wisdom.
• I really love my husband. I want him to be happy so badly, and when he’s not, well things just don’t feel right. We have a date night on Friday, and I can’t wait. There is nothing I would rather do than spend time with him. Even after almost 9 years, I still feel like we’re dating….well, almost.
• Gabe is on a new med that has less potential for abuse, which is definitely something we wanted to take out of the equation. I am hopeful that he will not have to be dependant on meds as an adult, and this is a good stepping stone.
• Jeremiah is really a medical mystery right now. His platelets are low, causing really easy bruising, which is really fun for a clumsy kid in sports. Also, his calcium level is really high, which his doctor says it is caused by his parathyroid gland being overactive. Interestingly enough, a high calcium level can cause digestive issues and mental health/behavioral issues, both of which Miah struggles with.  Being in the remote area we are, a hematologist is only available monthly, and the endocrinologist only comes up every three months, so it might be a while before we have answers. Prayers are appreciated.
• Gabe’s adoption is being finalized on Monday in our local county’s court. YAY! He is very excited and has invited a bunch of our family and friends to come celebrate with him. We are hoping that Miah will be able to hold it together, cuz it would be a bummer if we had to intervene on Gabe’s big day.
• We still don’t have a day for Miah’s finalization. I am hoping to hear from our worker this week, but we are waiting on a signature from downstate. Ah, the infamous signature.
• Due to some cues Miah has given us, we are most likely leaving him with our close family friends while we go downstate for court. He has expressed quite clearly that if we take him he would not be able to handle it and WILL make a scene. Basically, he wants us to prove that we will fight for him, and in his mind that means a battle. So we are respecting his feelings and will be leaving him home. I’m sure his caseworker and GAL will be disappointed, but as a good friend told me, I’m the mama, and I’ve got to watch out for my kid first. They are adults. They will get over it.
• I’ve got myself on a behavior chart. My goal is to go 2 weeks without losing my temper. It’s been very hard lately with the amped-up behaviors. I did not like who I became the other day, and I fear that I destroyed the progress we had made the day before. Anywho, my goal is that if I can go 2 weeks without losing my temper (which I know very clearly when that happens) I will earn a pampered day off all to myself. So far, 2 days! YAY! 12 to go.
• Gabe has had privileges back for 4 days now, and is really struggling today. He has gone a little privilege drunk, and is starting to really push boundaries. He doesn’t like the freedom in a lot of ways but, of coarse, loves it in many ways as well. I’m trying to treat him l like a 17 year old, but it’s very hard when he is acting like a 12 year old.
• Both boys are doing really well with their summer studies. Jeremiah is loving Mathletics, and asks to spend time on it every day. He’s lost the website privilege for a couple of days but, thankfully, they have printable workbooks, and he’s been really succeeding with those as well. His teacher also gave me access to a website their classroom uses for reading, social studies, and science, so he is working in each of those subjects on almost a daily basis.
• Gabe is working with a family friend who is a very gifted tutor. He is mostly working on Chemistry to get ready for taking it in the fall, and also composition, which is something he really struggles with. His tutor is assigning him documentaries to watch, and then he writes an essay on what he watches. It’s a formula that is working really well. I’ve also ordered some Drive-Thru History episodes that come with teaching materials. They should be here in a couple of days. Exciting!
• God is really working on my heart about what holiness and discipline really mean. More on that another time.

Blessings!

Hannah

1 comment so far | Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, Being set apart, Education Everywhere, faith, family fun, infertility, marriage, parenting, RAD, The SAHM Adventure

What I learned in Minnesota

Our family just got back from a wonderful, but all too short trip to my Papa’s house in Northern Minnesota.  My little sister was graduating high school, and she is the last one before the grandchildren take over.

Here are a few things I learned:

• Sleeping 1950′s style sometimes means that you get more sleep, and when you are too tired to do anything fun anyways, why not?
• We have become spoiled snobs when it comes to hotels due to my hubby’s travel points. There ARE some benefits of having to endure 6 months of only seeing your hubby 3 days a week. Not many, but some.
• I still cannot stand the smell of fish. Nope.
• Jeremiah LOVES fish.
• Jeremiah can go three whole days and not lose a single privilege.
• Gabe can draw a 60 lb. draw complex bow, but barely. He has the welts to prove it.
• My hubby can EASILY draw a 60 lb. draw complex bow, but his shoulders are so wide that he can’t look through the site. He also has the welt to prove it.
• Baby cockatiels are amazingly cute and ugly at the same time. Okay, I already knew this, but it’s worth restating.
• My step-brother and his wifey make gorgeous babies.
• I am getting much better at handling baby announcements without breaking down. YAY!
• I love thunderstorms. Watching lightning in the night sky always makes me think of God’s fireworks.
• My Dad is my biggest cheerleader. He trusts me.
• Little ones grow up WAY too fast.
• Sisterhood has nothing to do with blood.
• I can always trust my Dad to have a good analogy on him at all times.
• God will send you all the way to Minnesota to hear a sermon if He knows your heart needs to hear it.
• There is nothing much better than a date night with your favorite man in the world, even if there are intense subjects to deal with.
• Naps are good.
• Home is where your heart is, truly.

Blessings!

Hannah

1 comment so far | Tags: faith, family fun, infertility, marriage, parenting

26 years ago

God brought this precious baby into the world. (The non-hairy one.)

AND NOW HE’S MINE! MWAHAHAHAHA!

I love you, my cashew.

Happy Birthday.

3 comments so far (is that a lot?) | Tags: family fun, marriage

Baseball and bad attitudes.

First, some good news.

Got an important call from an important State Trooper saying that an important legal matter of Gabe’s was being dropped. YAY! Thank you for all of you who were praying, even when you didn’t know what you were praying about.

Jeremiah has his first baseball game tomorrow. YAY! I am beyond excited….for him….and for me. I’m just loving being able to say “That’s my son!”He’s really doing well, and I’m hoping this is something he falls in love with and succeeds at. He needs some succeeding.

Unfortunately, we are in horrible need of rain, and it looks like God will be answering our moisture prayers tomorrow night. YUCK! Yay, God for the rain! I’m just hoping it comes the rest of the day, and stops around 5:00.

Now. What to do with a certain 17-year-old’s bad attitude. An attitude that has recently earned him 4 extra weeks of restriction. We saw something very similar happen last spring, so we are thinking possible trauma-versary. I’m just hoping that we can reach his heart before this goes too far.

Oh! And if you are praying, and I hope you are, please be praying that Jeremiah’s subsidy paperwork comes through ASAP. His consent to adoption came through 2 weeks ago, and Gabe’s consent and subsidy came through, like, 6 weeks ago, so we are just waiting on Miah’s. Our adoption worker 3.0 is bugging the worker incessantly, so I’m hoping we hear any day now.

Only 3 weeks of school left. Huh? Okay. Gotta figure that out too.

Blessings!

Hannah

No comments yet | Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, Education Everywhere, faith, family fun, parenting, prayer, RAD

My Blog Post of Bullet Points

• I am currently Listening to this song by Emerson Hart cuz a dear friend wanted to pass the message on to an old flame. I’ve only broken up with someone twice, and one of the men is now my husband, so the sentiment is not the same, but I can see why the lyrics rung so deeply with him.
• I was delightfully surprised today when a box arrived containing a W!!. Hubby knew I’ve been wanting one for a long time, especially the W!! Fit, which he got for me. YAY! I only played for a total of 47 minutes today and already burned about 400 calories, and it was so much fun. I also found out that Jeremiah has been playing it quite a bit at school, and that he CHEATS! HORRIBLY!!!
• I had even MORE fun playing catch with my sons in the back yard today. After two very chilly, windy days it was finally warm enough to play outside. Jeremiah is starting in Little League for the first time, so we needed to get some catch practice in. He is so naturally gifted in everything athletic. I played fast and slow-pitch softball for 11 years growing up, and I was fairly good, so I really enjoyed showing him the ropes. I was excited when I found out that even after about 6 years of not playing at all, it came back pretty naturally. Gabe did a fabulous job of not making himself the center of attention, which is something we’ve been struggling with lately. He encouraged Miah, but let me take the lead. Not one instance of know-it-all syndrome. YAY!!!! Gabe even played catcher for us while I taught Miah to pitch. He really could be a pitcher if he wanted to be. I think he could be any position, but he has really good accuracy in his throwing, so short stop or pitcher might be a good fit. We’ll see. He’s never played in a league before, but because he is already so good at hitting, catching, and throwing, the head coach put him in the Majors.
• The pups are 4 weeks old now, and their personalities are bigger than they are. I am so blessed that we have found homes for all of them already. 2-3 more weeks before they will go to their new homes.
• The only thing I DON’T like about the W!! Fit is that it tracks BMI. I HATE BMI!!!! Even my amazing nutrition professor in college told me that BMI is a bunch of HOOEY and that it has absolutely no accuracy in indicating someone’s health. The stupid thing placed me at 36, which is at the top of their obese scale. Now, I admit I am overweight, and my goal weight is to lose about 50 lbs, but I am NOWHERE NEAR MORBIDLY OBESE! I am 6’1″ and have a large frame, and the stupid thing says that my goal weight is 166 lbs. Yeah. I weighed that when I was 16 and ANOREXIC! You could see my ribs and collar bone for goodness sake. My sister Rachel, who is 5’10 and…well…a little more than 166 lbs  would be considered overweight by this thing. MY GORGEOUS, THIN, ACTIVE SISTER. So, that’s my rant about BMI, and the only thing I don’t like about the W!! Fit.
• I read this awesome post by Goggy about the uniqueness of the journey of the infertile couple, especially when they adopt. It really touched my heart and rang true with me. I will probably reflect more on that another time.
• The pups have been getting so much attention lately, I didn’t want my beautiful Juji bird to feel left out. So here is my beautiful Juji eating her favorite food, corn. She actually  loves to pose, and as I am writing this she is cuddling with my cheek. She’s such a joy, and a BIG trouble maker. Yesterday she hopped down on the floor and raced across the living room (with her famous crow hop) simply to attack Hubby’s feet. What a lovable stinker.

• Both my boys love video games, but especially Jeremiah. He has been willing to do just about anything, including  breaking and entering, to get just a few minutes of screen time. At bed time tonight he asked me I enjoyed playing my new game today. I told him that I had a lot of fun, but I had even more fun playing baseball with him. His eyes lit up and asked “Really? Why?” I told him that no video game could ever replace how much fun I have playing with my sons. He thought that was pretty cool, and because I know how much he loves video games, I know it meant a ton to him. In his prayers after that, he even called me his favorite Mommy. Awww.
• Be praying for both boys, as I know many of you do. Jeremiah is struggling every day with some major flashbacks, and his tantrums have been very violent and self destructive lately. Pray for his safety and that God’s peace and healing would reign over his mind, body, and spirit. He also had some blood work today to test his plalette levels as he’s been bruising really easily lately. A simple tickle fight leaves bruises on his ribs. It may just be his fair skin, but we wanted to be sure. They also checked his De*acote levels, as he’s been growing a ton and his doctor is concerned that it might be having an effect on these mood swings we’ve been seeing.
• Gabe is in some legal trouble right now that he needs lots of prayer cover for. Can’t go into details, but please pray for his heart and that God uses this as a character building time, and a time for us to speak life into him.

• Oh, YAY! Hubby is home for the next COUPLE OF MONTHS! SERIOUSLY! NO TRAVELING! It’s already making a huge differerence with the boys AND with Hubby. He’s so much happier now. YAY! That’s a huge answer to prayer. Not to mention I happen to kind of like the guy, and the extra hugs and kisses have been a huge mood booster for me.

Okay, enough bullets. I hope you enjoyed the update. I’m hoping that the beautiful weather will put me in writing mood this week. I have a lot on my heart, it just needs to make it’s way to my fingers.

Blessings!

Hannah

1 comment so far | Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, Being set apart, blogging, faith, family fun, infertility, marriage, parenting, prayer, RAD, the critters, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure

Jeremiah likes to climb.

Yesterday, he climbed all over.

All over the tree house.

Up aortas.

Down aortas.

And all over….

all over…

THE Big Red Dog.

No comments yet | Tags: family fun