Posted by Hannah Rae on Oct 20, 2011 in
Memories
when my sister, Rachel, was born.
Now I’ve been told that this may be a false memory due to the fact that I’ve seen the video of her birth and been told about it so often, but I don’t believe this. Sure, I was just barely two years old, but I’ve always had a good memory, especially for sounds and smells. I clearly remember our babysitter holding me and being upset that she wouldn’t put me down. I remember the walls and windows. Was there a window looking into the birthing room? Maybe. I remember wanting to sit with my mommy on her bed, and I remember my dad saying “It’s another girl!”
Rachel’s birth was special for a number of reasons. She was the first baby born at this particular hospital to have her whole family present at her birth. They had just built their new family birthing center, and Rachel’s was the first birth to get the “whole family” experience. This was a big enough deal to make a full-page article in the local newspaper, of which my dad apparently kept more than 20 copies, which I discovered when going through a box of his keepsakes.
The second reason Rachel’s birth was important was that my parents had decided that she would be the last of our brood. My parents were really big into natural family planning. In fact, each of us had been very precisely spaced using the ole’ temperature chart method. I laugh at this because it’s another science thing, and that’s exactly how my dad would have it, although my mom was obviously in agreement. 
Anywho, after having four beautiful children, spaced 2-3 years apart, they decided that our clan was complete ,and my dad scheduled himself for a vasectomy. Or maybe my mom made him. I’m not sure on that one. My older sister, Sarah, told me once that she remembers the day he had the procedure because she wasn’t allowed to sit on his lap. I’ll have to take her word on that one, as that detail did not make its way into my memory.
So on that warm August day in 1986, my mischievous, notorious, hilarious, sweet, sensitive, creative partner-in-crime entered my sphere. For years we were rivals, which is a story for another time, but now I am blessed by her every day, and she totally deserves to be my first memory.
LOVE YOU, RACHEL!
Blessings!
Hannah
***Note: This was attempt 2036.5 to get myself out of my trauma-created writer’s block. I got myself a new resource to give me ideas, so, again, my goal is to write every day. Even if it is just a sentence, I do not want this traumatic time in my life to silence me. Nope!***
Leave a comment | | Tags: blogging, family fun, parenting
Posted by Hannah Rae on May 15, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
Hannah’s Top However Many Movies Are my Favorites of All Time!
(In very random but somewhat particular order)
- Steel Magnolias
- Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
- P.S. I Love You
- Mr. Holland’s Opus
- Simon Birch
- A League of Their Own
- The Princess Bride
- Monty Python: The Holy Grail
- Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest
- Shortcircuit
- Star Trek (2009)
- Patch Adams
- Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit
- Fiddler on the Roof
- Newsies
- Remember the Titans
- Life is Beautiful (in Italian)
- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
- Julie and Julia
- You’ve Got Mail
- Dead Poet’s Society
So what makes a movie one of my favorites?
- A good story is always a good start. Many of my favorites have strong stories with a lot of heart, and a message of courage or redemption.
- I love history, so historical stories are also a plus, especially when you add musicality to them.
- I love to laugh, but crudeness is not funny to me, so if you are going to make me laugh it has got to be good, clean, witty humor. Am I offended by a few sh*ts and SOB’s now and then? Nah. I don’t let that ruin things. But I also don’t think they are necessary. Humor that requires swearing to be funny isn’t really humor in my mind.
- A good movie has to be quotable! Some of my cult-classic favorites are favorites for no other reason than at any given time I can pull at least 20 good one-liners from them.
- Re-watch-ability is essential. My absolute favorites I can watch over and over and over again. When it’s over, I want to start it over AGAIN!
- Any combination of the above.
How about you? Do we share any of the same favorites? Wanna have a movie night sometime?
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: family fun
Posted by Hannah Rae on Mar 27, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
For a big week.
Yesterday was the 2nd anniversary of Jeremiah having his first home-visit with us. 2 years with the same family. Never happened for him before. Big deal.
Thursday is Jeremiah’s 12th birthday. (12! WHAT?) His 3rd birthday celebration with us. Gabe’s birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and Jeremiah is convinced that we are not going to celebrate him as much as Gabe. How do you convince a son of your love for him? No amount of presents will do that. Big deal.
Thursday is also J’s first baseball practice of the year. He is excited out of his mind. He loves baseball. He’s good at it and he knows it. He thrives at it. He feels normal when playing baseball. Big deal.
Friday I leave for the conference I’ve been looking forward too. I’ve been so blessed by many people who love me who have helped to make this possible. I’m also nervous about leaving the boys alone with Dad for the weekend. Dad travels. They’re used to that. Mom doesn’t. Not without them. J still freaks out about not wanting to go to town because he is afraid I will drop him off somewhere. This time Mom will be going hours away without him, and he doesn’t have the security that Mom will come back, or even that Mom WANTS to come back. VERY BIG DEAL.
On Satuday, J will be going to his first Scouts event. I am so badly hoping that he can hold it together so that he can go. It will give him another chance to be a normal 12 year-old boy, and learn some awesome skills as well. Right after that he will be going to his first overnight at our local Children’s Museum. He will be with people we trust deeply, but it’s still kind of freaky. I will leave it up to Hubby as to whether or not J can handle staying over night. VERY BIG DEAL(s).
AND THEN
Oy.
After I get back on Sunday night, Hubby has to leave for three days on business Monday morning. He hasn’t had to travel in almost a year, thanks be God, so this will be another stress the boys are not used to. Gabe especially has a hard time when Dad is gone. Thank you, Lord, that I will have a weekend of refreshment and skill-building behind me to help me stay sane during this crazy time.
March is almost over.
Prayer support is appreciated.
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, family fun, parenting, RAD, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Mar 21, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
So last night I e-mailed two troop leaders about the possibility of Jeremiah joining scouts. This morning one of the leaders called me back and we talked for about half an hour. It turned out that they meet on Mondays and were going swimming tonight. The leader and I both thought that it would be a great opportunity for J. to casually meet the other boys in the troop and get a feel for what the group was like.
He worked hard ALL DAY so that he could go. He got all his schoolwork done AND his chores. We ate dinner a little earlier than normal, and then he and I were off to town. He clicked with the boys right away, 4 or 5 who are also 12. He was in the pool playing “chicken wars” within minutes.
I was really impressed with the leadership. They answered all my questions, and reassured me on some of the things I was concerned about.
I even got hooked up with another mom who “is the library” for our local branch, which I have never been too, since it’s 20 miles away and, up till now, I hardly ever go that direction. I think I will make his troop meeting nights my library nights. Ah, the thrill and beauty of free resources.
The other troop leader called while we were at the meeting. I will chat with him tomorrow, but I am pretty sure we’ve found our fit. There is even a “badge day” coming up that will give J. a kind of orientation into what Scouting is all about, and give him the chance to meet more scouts his age.
I cannot explain the joy in my heart over seeing J. do “normal boy things.” I just couldn’t stop smiling, and neither could he, which was the best part.
Oh, Lord, let this be the start of something GREAT!
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: Education Everywhere, family fun, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Jul 17, 2010 in
Life in the Stubborn house
- It’s been rough. I’m frustrated because I feel like all I’ve been able to write about lately is how rough it’s been. I’m having trouble remembering the amazing good things that really do go on because the trauma of the….traumatic things seem to wash them out of my brain. I apologize for that. You see, not wanting to come off as a whiner has made me fearful of writing anything…so I don’t. I don’t like that.
- In response to the above, as well as my husband’s prodding to develop and utilize my creative writing gifts, I am setting a personal goal for myself to write at least 2 short stories a week. I will try to share as many as those as I can. I recently came upon some old stories and poems that I penned in high school. I think it would be fun to share those as well.
- As a birthday present, my amazingly gifted geek (aka Hubby) is helping me fix some of these blog bugs that I am frustrated with. The biggest issues that I want to fix are:
- Being able to link series’ of posts together is currently very cumbersome. I want it to be easy to follow story lines and find answers to questions that fall under specific topics.
- I need a better way to display and organize my short stories in safe ways.
- I want the blog to look a lot more friendly and Hannah-ish.
- Suggestions?
- The boys and I still have a week left in Minnesota. It’s been an adventure….hence the “Without Daddy Adventures.” We had a bonfire tonight since it was the first night sense we’ve been here without massive westward winds. After some sausage mishaps, I finally had the light bulb moment to use the cast iron skillet my papa got at an estate auction last year. YAY! It worked wonderfully.
- I’ve really been enjoying Lauraine Snelling’s Red River series lately. I love historical fiction, especially that era. Plus that series, as well as many of her other books, are about people with Norwegian ancestry, of which I am. Something about the late 1800′s on the prairie fascinates me. I think I would have made a good pioneer woman. I’ve definitely got the hips for it. Although it would definitely be harder to be an infertile woman in that era, but I often wonder if that would have been an issue for me without all these environmental contributors that we have today. Wow! That could totally turn into another post.
- It’s Hubby’s and my marriage anniversary today. No, not that one. Nope, not that one either. Yes! That one! The first one! The real one! We were so young, and “stupid” as my hubby said earlier today, but we’ve made it! And we are so glad that we’ve come this far. We’re stronger now than I ever imagined. He’s my love.
- Goodness sakes I miss his smell right now.
- Oh! Like I said, we had a bonfire tonight, but I totally didn’t take any pictures. I’ve been finding out lately I’m very bad at that part of mommy-ing because I am usually way to caught up in the moment to think of grabbing the camera until it’s over and I realize I would have really liked pictures. Oh well.
- Did I mention I love my husband? Like LOTS! And I miss him so crazy much it literrally aches, especially today. I am in desperate need of some lovin’. I’m used to like a bazillion hugs and kisses a day, and the most affection I’ve been getting lately is from my bird.
- God has really been pulling me into Him lately for all the reasons above. So many things wrecking me day and night. I just wish I could discipline myself to hide in Him more. Learning.
- Oh! Last but not least…I need comments! Like seriously! I know that more people than my dad and friends Amanda and Christine read my blog, so PLEASE let me know you are there. If you read a post and don’t have anything to say, that’s fine. At least say “Hey! I read your blog!” K? K.
TTFN
Tah tah for now!
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, blogging, family fun, marriage, parenting, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Jul 15, 2010 in
Life in the Stubborn house
Saturday night at about 10:00 PM, my dad, step-mom, lil’ sister, sons and I left for the Minneapolis air port. I knew that we were expecting to get to the air port at about 4:30 AM, so I had called our hotel to see if we could get an early check-in, like 6 AM. Nope. Not happenin’. The gal I spoke to told me she couldn’t guarantee me anything from another person’s shift, and that I would need to call the person on shift at the time, but that the earliest we would probably be able to check in would be 10 or 11. Ugh. Not good.
So…we get to the airport at 3:00 AM. A whole hour earlier than anticipated. I was wired the whole drive and couldn’t get any sleep, which is unusual for me. Anywho, after dropping the parentals and sister off, we easily found our way to our hotel. It was big…like tall. I’ve never stayed in a hotel that tall before.
Anywho, the guy at the front desk was lounging in a chair and came to the door to meet me. I explained to him our situation, how I had been up all night, and how we had booked a room but didn’t anticipate getting here this early etc…At first Peter (I always try to learn names) said that they were completely full, but then noticed that we had booked a suite, that we were Elite members (thank you to Hubby’s business trips) and that we were using points to pay for our suite. He told me there was nothing he could do because we were already into the next business day. I calmly and politely asked him to please check again. He found out that he actually had a suite available, but he would have to charge me the Saturday rate (which was a lot). I told him that it wasn’t really acceptable to pay that much just because I couldn’t use my points, especially since it was already 3:30.
Anywho, after calling the Elite line, and few more pleases and thank yous a yes sirs, Peter said that he could charge us for 1/2 night’s stay, which came out to $5 more than what we would pay with points…and we would keep our points. YAY! I thanked Peter immensely and told him what a huge help he was.
So at 3:30 AM, the boys and I had a place to sleep. And sleep we did. And as we said our good nights (in the early morning) I reminded the boys how we got the room. I didn’t yell, scream, and make a scene, I simply let the man know our needs and was polite, assertive, and more polite.
Every time they see this, I hope it sinks in a little more. I hope that I am not only showing Christ’s love to the strangers I encounter, but my sons as well.
Blessings! (To you especially, Peter)
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: Being set apart, family fun
Posted by Hannah Rae on Jul 12, 2010 in
Life in the Stubborn house
So the boys and I are officially on our own in Northern MN for the next 10 days. We dropped the parentals and lil’ sis off at the Minneapolis airport early Sunday morning after driving through the night. Now we are back up north, enjoying the quit.
But….
The past the days have been full of all kinds of stories. Here are the highlights that I will do my best to expand upon.
- If you are kind and polite, even at 3:30 PM, people will do their best, even go out of their way to help you. This is a lesson I want my boys to see over and over and over again.
- The Mall of America is not nearly as intimidating as I remember.
- Blessing my boys with fun times with mama unconditionally was totally and completely AMAZING! BUT Jeremiah can not handle good things YET (I say with hope), and I definitely paid for it later.
- Beating my boys, especially Gabe, at cards is SO MUCH FUN!!!!
- Gabe will never be a taxi driver or professional navigator. But we got our pizza eventually.
- A friendly Israeli + Dead Sea salt scrub + 2 boys + ADHD = A mama nearly peeing her pants laughing. (“MOM! MY HANDS HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS SOFT!!!”)
- Even Jerome gets sick of pizza eventually.
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, family fun, parenting, RAD
Posted by Hannah Rae on Jul 7, 2010 in
Life in the Stubborn house
Well, let’s see.
2 boys with attachment issues + 2 weeks with Mom – Dad = Yeah…..
We are leaving tomorrow for 2 weeks house-sitting for my daddy. Hubby is not able to come with. Both boys have been very Hubby-needy lately regardless of the trip. Jeremiah especially has been trying to sabotage all day. For the moment, we’ve got things somewhat regulated and the fears and lies called out for what they are. It will be a long night. It will be a long two weeks. Praying that I’m wrong. Praying for wisdom and patience.
It’s hot. I’m hormonal and missing my hubby. Praying for patience and grace. Even hoping for JOY!
Still no date for Jeremiah. Urgh.
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, family fun, marriage, parenting, prayer, RAD, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Jun 26, 2010 in
Life in the Stubborn house
- I’ve been really blessed to bless some more new mamas recently. I’m getting through baby shower season pretty well, and am really enjoying the friendship with some awesome women. I really love being able to be a part of these little one’s lives, as well as encouraging their parents and offering to babysit whenever, and I mean it!
- I have found an unlikely friend in the mom of one of Jeremiah’s teammates. She is 44, also an adoptive mom, and has worked in the social work and child care field for a long time. We chat at the games, ride together whenever possible, and are really enjoying eachother’s “knowing-ness”. She has been very real with me, and I am extremely thankful for that, even if what she has to say is not always easy to hear….aka, wisdom.
- I really love my husband. I want him to be happy so badly, and when he’s not, well things just don’t feel right. We have a date night on Friday, and I can’t wait. There is nothing I would rather do than spend time with him. Even after almost 9 years, I still feel like we’re dating….well, almost.
- Gabe is on a new med that has less potential for abuse, which is definitely something we wanted to take out of the equation. I am hopeful that he will not have to be dependant on meds as an adult, and this is a good stepping stone.
- Jeremiah is really a medical mystery right now. His platelets are low, causing really easy bruising, which is really fun for a clumsy kid in sports. Also, his calcium level is really high, which his doctor says it is caused by his parathyroid gland being overactive. Interestingly enough, a high calcium level can cause digestive issues and mental health/behavioral issues, both of which Miah struggles with. Being in the remote area we are, a hematologist is only available monthly, and the endocrinologist only comes up every three months, so it might be a while before we have answers. Prayers are appreciated.
- Gabe’s adoption is being finalized on Monday in our local county’s court. YAY! He is very excited and has invited a bunch of our family and friends to come celebrate with him. We are hoping that Miah will be able to hold it together, cuz it would be a bummer if we had to intervene on Gabe’s big day.
- We still don’t have a day for Miah’s finalization. I am hoping to hear from our worker this week, but we are waiting on a signature from downstate. Ah, the infamous signature.
- Due to some cues Miah has given us, we are most likely leaving him with our close family friends while we go downstate for court. He has expressed quite clearly that if we take him he would not be able to handle it and WILL make a scene. Basically, he wants us to prove that we will fight for him, and in his mind that means a battle. So we are respecting his feelings and will be leaving him home. I’m sure his caseworker and GAL will be disappointed, but as a good friend told me, I’m the mama, and I’ve got to watch out for my kid first. They are adults. They will get over it.
- I’ve got myself on a behavior chart. My goal is to go 2 weeks without losing my temper. It’s been very hard lately with the amped-up behaviors. I did not like who I became the other day, and I fear that I destroyed the progress we had made the day before. Anywho, my goal is that if I can go 2 weeks without losing my temper (which I know very clearly when that happens) I will earn a pampered day off all to myself. So far, 2 days! YAY! 12 to go.
- Gabe has had privileges back for 4 days now, and is really struggling today. He has gone a little privilege drunk, and is starting to really push boundaries. He doesn’t like the freedom in a lot of ways but, of coarse, loves it in many ways as well. I’m trying to treat him l like a 17 year old, but it’s very hard when he is acting like a 12 year old.
- Both boys are doing really well with their summer studies. Jeremiah is loving Mathletics, and asks to spend time on it every day. He’s lost the website privilege for a couple of days but, thankfully, they have printable workbooks, and he’s been really succeeding with those as well. His teacher also gave me access to a website their classroom uses for reading, social studies, and science, so he is working in each of those subjects on almost a daily basis.
- Gabe is working with a family friend who is a very gifted tutor. He is mostly working on Chemistry to get ready for taking it in the fall, and also composition, which is something he really struggles with. His tutor is assigning him documentaries to watch, and then he writes an essay on what he watches. It’s a formula that is working really well. I’ve also ordered some Drive-Thru History episodes that come with teaching materials. They should be here in a couple of days. Exciting!
- God is really working on my heart about what holiness and discipline really mean. More on that another time.
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, Being set apart, Education Everywhere, faith, family fun, infertility, marriage, parenting, RAD, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Jun 9, 2010 in
Life in the Stubborn house
Our family just got back from a wonderful, but all too short trip to my Papa’s house in Northern Minnesota. My little sister was graduating high school, and she is the last one before the grandchildren take over.
Here are a few things I learned:
- Sleeping 1950′s style sometimes means that you get more sleep, and when you are too tired to do anything fun anyways, why not?
- We have become spoiled snobs when it comes to hotels due to my hubby’s travel points. There ARE some benefits of having to endure 6 months of only seeing your hubby 3 days a week. Not many, but some.
- I still cannot stand the smell of fish. Nope.
- Jeremiah LOVES fish.
- Jeremiah can go three whole days and not lose a single privilege.
- Gabe can draw a 60 lb. draw complex bow, but barely. He has the welts to prove it.
- My hubby can EASILY draw a 60 lb. draw complex bow, but his shoulders are so wide that he can’t look through the site. He also has the welt to prove it.
- Baby cockatiels are amazingly cute and ugly at the same time. Okay, I already knew this, but it’s worth restating.
- My step-brother and his wifey make gorgeous babies.
- I am getting much better at handling baby announcements without breaking down. YAY!
- I love thunderstorms. Watching lightning in the night sky always makes me think of God’s fireworks.
- My Dad is my biggest cheerleader. He trusts me.
- Little ones grow up WAY too fast.
- Sisterhood has nothing to do with blood.
- I can always trust my Dad to have a good analogy on him at all times.
- God will send you all the way to Minnesota to hear a sermon if He knows your heart needs to hear it.
- There is nothing much better than a date night with your favorite man in the world, even if there are intense subjects to deal with.
- Naps are good.
- Home is where your heart is, truly.
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: faith, family fun, infertility, marriage, parenting
