Posted by Hannah Rae on May 8, 2011 in
Laughter Lives Tuesday
One wore a helmet.
One left his helmet on the ground.
One was riding to earn trust.
One was riding because trust had been lost.
One came home early just to check in.
One will not be sleeping in his bed tonight.
One is striving for healing, as hard as it might be.
One is walking away from health, determined to stay in control.
Both are loved.
Both are prayed for…and prayed for…and prayed for.
Both are dreamed for.
Neither are forgotten.
Lord, thank you. Lord, have mercy.
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, Being set apart, parenting, RAD, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on May 6, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
SUCKS!
Gabe came over today. After a lot of C-R-A-P he finally found the words to confirm that he is not intending on coming back.
Okay.
Hubby and I are at complete peace and have told him that since he is making adult decisions, we will allow him to continue to make those decisions. As hard as it may be. And it will be hard.
He packed up as much stuff as he could, and I told him he has until June 1st to come get the rest, otherwise I will assume it is fair game for my yard sale.
We told him we loved him, we are still his parents, and that he is always welcome to call us if he needs help with something, but we will not come to the rescue for consequences of his adult decisions.
Peace. But it still sucks.
Jeremiah has been having major anxiety over baseball this year. Last year this was not an issue. This year, every day there is practice there are meltdowns. Meltdowns that include phrases such as “I’m just gonna quit! I don’t wanna play baseball anyways.” Then I would comfort him, reassure him, and encourage him. He would go to practice, and seem to enjoy himself, and then the next morning complain about how sore he was.
So, he was supposed to have practice tonight, but last night before bed he started to get grouchy and he told me that he didn’t want to play baseball. Sooo I picked up the phone, called his coach and let him know. At first J pitched a very week fit “I didn’t mean it!” But amazingly, after that he seemed much relieved. Today he kept trying to convince me, or himself, that I was upset with him for his decision. I told him that the choice was made, and it was obviously a good choice because baseball was cuasing him so much grief. He used the choice as a catalyst to have an absolutely miserable day, but once I let him make that choice, he got his misery over with and had a great evening.
I will miss watching him play ball this year, but if he can’t handle it, then it would not be loving to keep setting him up for failure. Still sucks.
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, Being set apart, parenting, RAD, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on May 4, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
It may be a tantrum…
But it’s only a 1 hour tantrum instead of an all day tantrum.
There may be stomping and yelling….
But there’s not any hitting, or throwing, or swearing.
There may be sneaking…
But it’s only one or two instead of the whole package.
There may be stinky armpits…
But at least there’s a clean bum.
We’ve come a long way.
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, Lovin' on the kiddos, parenting, RAD, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Apr 26, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
In my house, it has hardly ever been about pee. Since the boys have been here, it has always been about poo.
I have two poo-controlling, poo-holding (or withhold-ing), bowels of steel boys.
Can all mothers identify their individual children by the smell of their gas? I can. AND by that I can gauge their current level of stress.
I don’t understand it. I don’t understand how one could stand putting their body through that kind of agony.
Last year when Jeremiah was going through a long bout of medical tests because of sudden weight loss, they x-rayed his belly. Sure enough, his bowels were extremely backed up. They could see it on the x-ray, which amazed me.
His doctor has him on m*ralax, but that doesn’t make you go, it just helps the water you drink get to your bowels so you CAN go. He still chooses not to.
Talking to his psychiatrist, he said he sees this all the time .
“It’s one thing they CAN control, so they do.”
Okay. I get that. But it’s not healthy, and I can’t imagine it’s very pleasant, so how do we help?
The big catchphrase in our house is “Listen to your body,” and sometimes, when it is odiferously obvious that J needs to go, and he is insisting that he doesn’t, I will suggest that he sits on the toilet for 5 minutes. If he doesn’t have to go, he can get up after 5 minutes. It has never failed that he DOES need to go, and he goes, and he feels much better (and smells much better).
Of coarse there are laxatives, and I’ve heard of moms using a 1/2 orange juice, 1/2 olive oil concoction, but those are just temporary fixes, and the laxatives can be painful. I want my son to know that it is a GOOD THING to let his body get rid of those toxins. I don’t want him to have another bad thing associated with poo.
So, any mamas who have successfully, or even semi-successfully dealt with this issue, PLEASE SHARE! Together we can continue to help our kids heal in all kinds of ways.
***Update***
After talk to beautiful miss Lindsay, I am going to pick up some flax seed oil and liquid acidolphilus when I go into town tomorrow. Those are supposed to help deal with “the issue” and also heal up his bowl.
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, RAD, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Apr 25, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
because…
- Gabe’s still gone, but I’ve said all I know to say about that.
- I still want a baby, I still don’t have one, and I’ve said all I know to say about that.
- Jeremiah still struggles, but is getting stronger every day. I need to learn to say more about that, but day to day it’s hard for me to recognize and process.
I guess I need some new topics to help me feel “un-rutted.”
Do any of my readers have any questions or topics they would like me to write about?
Oh, and I DID take more chickie pictures today, so hopefully I will get them off my phone and uploaded tomorrow. YAY! They are so cute!
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, Being set apart, infertility, parenting, RAD, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Apr 21, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
Jeremiah had a followup appointment with his new Psychiatrist. I love this man. He listens really well and only wants J to be taking things that work. The med he was put on last year to replace his add**al was really not very effective, so we tossed that one out. The focus right now is to get J to the place where he can handle having thoughts and feelings without them sending him into a total spiral. So, we are trying a*ilify.
Does anyone have any experience with this drug? I know that every person responds to it differently, and I am really hoping that it helps J significantly. I hate to see how frustrated and sad he feels the majority of his day.
On a different note, we are struggling to figure out how to interact with Gabe right now. We hear reports through his teachers, but have only had two communications from him directly. The first was when he came to pick up his school books, and the second when he messaged me on FB and said he was trying to “figure stuff out.” With Easter, and with Dad up to visit, we are really struggling with how to reach out. Ugh.
We are trying. That’s pretty much all we can do.
Have a blessed Easter weekend!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, parenting, RAD, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Apr 18, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
First of all, I was chewed out today by a dear friend who said I was depriving her by not writing more often.
So there, Lori, I am posting! OKAY?!?!?!
Ah, the beauty of bullet points.
- Gabe is still not residing in our household. It’s becoming a new normal, and that’s weird.
- It snowed 6 inches this weekend, and we are expecting another 8 tonight. Gotta love spring in the U.P.
- Jeremiah is doing fairly well, but we are working through some sabotaging issues. I hate fear. I want fear to leave my son alone.
- I am working through big feelings related to God’s plan for our family, and for me as a woman. I have to say, it has been easier this round of emotions, but it still overwhelms me at times. Lots of babies due within the next few months, and that’s always a challenge for my heart to remember to trust God’s plan for ME. I also have to remember that it’s about HIM, not about me. That sucks. It’s hard.
- World events have made our family much more aware recently. My hubby has been intensely studying what’s going on in our world and what Scripture has to say about it. We are looking to the East expectantly. At the same time, as my sister, Rachel, reminded us, we need to understand that with that hope there needs to be an urgency for sharing God’s love and the message of Jesus with those who don’t know Him yet. What does this mean for our family?
- I really REALLY want Spring to be here to stay. J’s baseball practice got cancelled today because of SNOW. My garden seems like a far off dream at this point. Lord, bring the warmth!
- Just got all my garden seeds picked out. Wow. Talk about overwhelming. But I am also uber excited. We have a crazy short growing season up here, so those seeds that need inside time are gonna be a little crowded for a while.
- COME ON, SPRING!
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, Being set apart, Gardening, infertility, parenting, RAD, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Apr 13, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
Nothing has changed. Gabe is still gone.
We know where he is, and we know he is going to school, but everything else seems so…
surreal.
I’ve cried a lot. I didn’t expect this to happen so soon. So abruptly.
We have choices to make, but not yet. We are still waiting.
We’ve put it out there in as many ways as possible that we will welcome him back home.
Yes, there are conditions, but nothing beyond taking responsibility and showing respect, which most certainly terrifies him.
Today we got our laying-hen chicks, something Gabe was looking forward too, something he was going to help me with since he’s taken care of chickens before.
I cried for him. I felt betrayed. I wanted to enjoy this with him. Why didn’t he want to do this with me? Why wasn’t I important enough for him to stay?
A thought just occurred to me as I was typing that last sentence. Am I feeling a small taste of the confusion, betrayal, and abandonment my boys have felt?
Crap.
It sucks.
Damn it! I DID NOT want to feel empathy right now.
Anywho, we are waiting. My mind is rushing ahead to other things, and at the same time anxiously waiting to see what he will decide.
Tomorrow: Baby Chick Pictures!
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, parenting, RAD, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Apr 8, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
Gabe turned 18 two weeks ago. Three weeks ago. Whatever.
I thought it was take longer than this.
He’s gone.
By his own choice.
Hopefully not forever. Hopefully not for long.
This sucks. I miss him.
I don’t miss his bad attitude and disrespect.
But I miss him.
Anyone who’s been through this, please help. We need to know how we should approach this.
Praying deeply.
Blessings!
Hannah
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, parenting, RAD, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure
Posted by Hannah Rae on Apr 4, 2011 in
Life in the Stubborn house
If I could describe my Parenting in SPACE conference experience in (many) one sentence(s) I would say…
We were already friends before we met.
They got me.
I laughed till I cried.
I cried till I laughed.
“I never knew someone could throw up that much. Wow.”
“I will never bleach my hair again!”
“I’m glad I have a cough drop in my mouth.”
“Wow! Thank you! The end.”
If I could describe….
Well, you just had to be there.
I miss you all.
I am praying for us.
Blessings!
Hannah
p.s.
“Hexafuzzy”
“How DO snakes mate?”
Leave a comment | | Tags: behavior challenges, Being set apart, Education Everywhere, parenting, RAD, The SAHM Adventure
