Being Real

Posted by Hannah Rae on Apr 2, 2012 in Life in the Stubborn house

Things have been emotional lately to say the least. I thought it was time to share my heart with you again.

I apologize for the length…Lots of dramatic pauses. :)



BTW, I’m sure you’ve noticed I still have my Christmas theme up. Hubby has been crazy busy, so put it extremely mildly, so I am hoping to get the spring theme up before Thanks Giving! :)

Leave a comment | 5 comments so far (is that a lot?) | Tags: , , , , , , , ,


Apr 2, 2012 at 1:04 PM

Love you Miss Hannah. Love you so much, and am so sorry for the pain, and the reminders you are not like everyone else. I get that. I also understand the freedom you are talking about. I am so grateful for you, and the choices you make to still give love, to still be available for these little broken souls that make it to your home and your heart.
YOU are their first taste of love. THAT IS HUGE, and beautiful.
Love you.

Apr 2, 2012 at 2:00 PM

THanks soo much for being willing to share your heart. That seems soo hard for me and so watching you and hearing your life helps me too. Praying for you and your family!

Apr 3, 2012 at 6:31 AM

Puberty completely undid my Anastasia….I could never have understood it if I hadn’t experienced it…. It is almost like the child I know dying and being replaced with a monster I don’t know. I was just wondering yesterday…..will I ever get her back? Is she gone forever, only to be replaced with this witch?

Boy, I understand the frustration and horror [close to it] of being a foster parent. I consider myself an easy-going, loving person, but those “workers” drove me to madness. I thought it was possibly harder because I’d had children/had children at the time….and it was a constant thorn in my side to have to be judged, and corrected by people that I didn’t really have any respect for. You make me think that maybe it is even worse when you DON’T have that “I’ve already succeeded at this, you bozo!” tape running in the back of your brain to make you feel better.

Apr 3, 2012 at 6:35 AM

Also, wanted to say that I totally understand the seasonal thing. Ours is fall….beginning with my husband’s birthday (big triggers for Miss A), then er own birthday, then Lydia’s and Zhenya’s, closely followed by the biggest trigger of all – Thanksgiving – then all the dreaded “special things” – then Christmas (Heaven help us) and a VACATION from school! That provides us with a good two months of HORROR every year. Amazing how so many theoretically happy occasions can have been transformed into a miserable shambles.

Hannah Rae
Apr 3, 2012 at 8:49 AM

Haha! Annie, you hit the “worker” frustration right on the head. I want to scream “I have a degree in this, darn it! I’ve only been preparing for this for my ENTIRE LIFE!” The judging is the hardest part for me to handle, or the perception of it.

I pray you do get your daughter back. I really, really do.