Homeschooling Adventure: Day 1

He got up and got dressed. No complaining. A little playing dumb, but we talked about the nervousness, shook out the fears, and went on.

He ate breakfast. A little more playing dumb, but he was still being very pleasant. We talked about the feelings, the fear that he would fail and that I would give up. We shook out the fears and we went on.

We did our Bible time. He read really well, and then started to play dumb again, so we talked about the fears, really shook them out, and then went on.

We did our workout. I realized he has very little body awareness, especially with his core. He had no idea how to tighten his abs. He liked the ankle weights. I like the ankle weights too. They make me feel more connected to the ground.

He did his reading on his own up in his room while I took a shower. I had him write 5 things he didn’t know before and three questions. He followed instructions really well, spelling things properly, and using very neat handwriting. Then he started playing dumb again. We talked about how he wants to stay in control, and yet he also wants to do the right thing even if it means Mom is in control. We talked about choices and how he has complete control over his choices. He finished well.

He did his spelling online with Spelling City. Loved it! He wanted to do more and did not follow instructions when I asked him to move on. He lost a Miah Buck, but kept it together and moved on to math.

He did his math without a hitch.

Then lunch happened. I’m not sure exactly what the trigger was, but he was acting really REALLY mopey. He had eaten his two tacos while I was in the other room,  and then I asked him to please go clean up, and he was literally dragging his feet into the kitchen. His face was visibly sad, and his shoulders were in the slumped old man position that they have been in so much lately.

When he came back into the living room I knew something was wrong. I asked him if there was anything he needed to fix, and he immediately lost it. Tears, angry voice, the whole thing. I took him into my lap and we talked again about his fear that he was going to screw everything up. He told me he snuck some brownie out of the kitchen. I knew that wasn’t the whole story.

As reassuringly as I could I reminded him that yesterday I told him I would not be allowing myself to be pulled into control games, and that if he wanted to share with me, that was wonderful, but if not, he could go up into his room. He started to get very visibly angry (he hates it when I stay calm) and I told him that he had one more chance if he would like to go jump on his trampoline and calm down. He shouted “NO!” so I told him that was fine, he could go up to his room now. He raged for about 10 minutes, throwing, kicking the door, shouting all kinds of things to try to pull me into a battle. I stayed calm. YAY! When he was playing with the door, I simply sat myself down in front of it with my current read. He stopped almost immediately.

When he calmed I went up to his room and reassured him that he was not sent upstairs for sneaking, or lying, or anything like that. I told him I loved him very much and was so proud of him for all he accomplished today, and that i understood how scary it was to do so much so well all morning. I gave him his journal and pencil and left.

Dad will be doing work at home tonight, and I am going to Soup Group.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Blessings!

Hannah

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