He’s official!!!

As of 1:30 PM this afternoon, June 28th 2010, Gabe is officially stubborn! YAY!!!

He was nervous. He ate an entire bowl (like, glad container bowl) of taco casserole, plus a bowl of green grapes, at 11:30. He eats when he’s nervous, and he hates that I know that he eats when he’s nervous.

Jeremiah was nervous. He was bummed because we still don’t have a date for his adoption day. He was a bit mopey, but over all held it together.

Gabe was so excited to have many people who love him and care about him show up for court today. Gabe’s worker was there, as well as our adoption worker, whom we have never met before, so that was great. Hubby’s mom, grandma, and sister were there. Many of our closest friends also made the trip, and thankfully one of them remembered a camera, otherwise we would have been picture-less.

The court hearing was short, as I knew it would be. Gabe was glad that he didn’t have to say much, just a lot of yes sir’s. The judge gave a nice speech that I’ve heard at many adoption proceedings about how this is his favorite part of the job. It was nice. We got a picture with the judge afterwords, and he said he would love a copy. That made me smile.

After court we all headed to a local restaurant for a very fun time of celebrating and laughing together. Gabe felt very loved. That’s because he is. Oh, and he ate A LOT!

After dropping Hubby off at work, we went for a little DQ for dessert. Yum!

Gabe requested our family’s favorite dish, affectionately named “Rufus”, for dinner. It was amazing, as usual. Great job, lovey!

So that was our day. And now we wait for Jeremiah’s. Soon, we hope.

Thank you to all who are along for the journey.

Blessings!

Hannah

So now we wait for Jeremiah’s.

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I’ve been thinking…in bullet points.

• I’ve been really blessed to bless some more new mamas recently. I’m getting through baby shower season pretty well, and am really enjoying the friendship with some awesome women. I really love being able to be a part of these little one’s lives, as well as encouraging their parents and offering to babysit whenever, and I mean it!
• I have found an unlikely friend in the mom of one of Jeremiah’s teammates. She is 44, also an adoptive mom, and has worked in the social work and child care field for a long time. We chat at the games, ride together whenever possible, and are really enjoying eachother’s “knowing-ness”. She has been very real with me, and I am extremely thankful for that, even if what she has to say is not always easy to hear….aka, wisdom.
• I really love my husband. I want him to be happy so badly, and when he’s not, well things just don’t feel right. We have a date night on Friday, and I can’t wait. There is nothing I would rather do than spend time with him. Even after almost 9 years, I still feel like we’re dating….well, almost.
• Gabe is on a new med that has less potential for abuse, which is definitely something we wanted to take out of the equation. I am hopeful that he will not have to be dependant on meds as an adult, and this is a good stepping stone.
• Jeremiah is really a medical mystery right now. His platelets are low, causing really easy bruising, which is really fun for a clumsy kid in sports. Also, his calcium level is really high, which his doctor says it is caused by his parathyroid gland being overactive. Interestingly enough, a high calcium level can cause digestive issues and mental health/behavioral issues, both of which Miah struggles with.  Being in the remote area we are, a hematologist is only available monthly, and the endocrinologist only comes up every three months, so it might be a while before we have answers. Prayers are appreciated.
• Gabe’s adoption is being finalized on Monday in our local county’s court. YAY! He is very excited and has invited a bunch of our family and friends to come celebrate with him. We are hoping that Miah will be able to hold it together, cuz it would be a bummer if we had to intervene on Gabe’s big day.
• We still don’t have a day for Miah’s finalization. I am hoping to hear from our worker this week, but we are waiting on a signature from downstate. Ah, the infamous signature.
• Due to some cues Miah has given us, we are most likely leaving him with our close family friends while we go downstate for court. He has expressed quite clearly that if we take him he would not be able to handle it and WILL make a scene. Basically, he wants us to prove that we will fight for him, and in his mind that means a battle. So we are respecting his feelings and will be leaving him home. I’m sure his caseworker and GAL will be disappointed, but as a good friend told me, I’m the mama, and I’ve got to watch out for my kid first. They are adults. They will get over it.
• I’ve got myself on a behavior chart. My goal is to go 2 weeks without losing my temper. It’s been very hard lately with the amped-up behaviors. I did not like who I became the other day, and I fear that I destroyed the progress we had made the day before. Anywho, my goal is that if I can go 2 weeks without losing my temper (which I know very clearly when that happens) I will earn a pampered day off all to myself. So far, 2 days! YAY! 12 to go.
• Gabe has had privileges back for 4 days now, and is really struggling today. He has gone a little privilege drunk, and is starting to really push boundaries. He doesn’t like the freedom in a lot of ways but, of coarse, loves it in many ways as well. I’m trying to treat him l like a 17 year old, but it’s very hard when he is acting like a 12 year old.
• Both boys are doing really well with their summer studies. Jeremiah is loving Mathletics, and asks to spend time on it every day. He’s lost the website privilege for a couple of days but, thankfully, they have printable workbooks, and he’s been really succeeding with those as well. His teacher also gave me access to a website their classroom uses for reading, social studies, and science, so he is working in each of those subjects on almost a daily basis.
• Gabe is working with a family friend who is a very gifted tutor. He is mostly working on Chemistry to get ready for taking it in the fall, and also composition, which is something he really struggles with. His tutor is assigning him documentaries to watch, and then he writes an essay on what he watches. It’s a formula that is working really well. I’ve also ordered some Drive-Thru History episodes that come with teaching materials. They should be here in a couple of days. Exciting!
• God is really working on my heart about what holiness and discipline really mean. More on that another time.

Blessings!

Hannah

Leave a comment | 1 comment so far | Tags: Adoption, behavior challenges, Being set apart, Education Everywhere, faith, family fun, infertility, marriage, parenting, RAD, The SAHM Adventure

To the Dad…

Who didn’t know if he wanted to be one,

Who didn’t know if he could be one,

Who told God that he’d accept it if it came,

but chose to open his heart in an unexpected way;

To the dad who is so young, but no one knows it,

whose wisdom and strength are beyond his years,

who fights for his family, even the ones he didn’t know he wanted,

and who melts with our sons in his arms;

To you, my love, I send this out into all of the cyberspace world

because YOU DESERVE all the honor and respect I could possibly pour out on this page.

You may have not chosen to be a father, but I see you chose every day to be a great father.

God is using you to heal the hearts of our boys.

God is using our boys to heal yours.

And my heart is full.

I love you. Enough said.

Blessings!

Hannah

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What I learned in Minnesota

Our family just got back from a wonderful, but all too short trip to my Papa’s house in Northern Minnesota.  My little sister was graduating high school, and she is the last one before the grandchildren take over.

Here are a few things I learned:

• Sleeping 1950′s style sometimes means that you get more sleep, and when you are too tired to do anything fun anyways, why not?
• We have become spoiled snobs when it comes to hotels due to my hubby’s travel points. There ARE some benefits of having to endure 6 months of only seeing your hubby 3 days a week. Not many, but some.
• I still cannot stand the smell of fish. Nope.
• Jeremiah LOVES fish.
• Jeremiah can go three whole days and not lose a single privilege.
• Gabe can draw a 60 lb. draw complex bow, but barely. He has the welts to prove it.
• My hubby can EASILY draw a 60 lb. draw complex bow, but his shoulders are so wide that he can’t look through the site. He also has the welt to prove it.
• Baby cockatiels are amazingly cute and ugly at the same time. Okay, I already knew this, but it’s worth restating.
• My step-brother and his wifey make gorgeous babies.
• I am getting much better at handling baby announcements without breaking down. YAY!
• I love thunderstorms. Watching lightning in the night sky always makes me think of God’s fireworks.
• My Dad is my biggest cheerleader. He trusts me.
• Little ones grow up WAY too fast.
• Sisterhood has nothing to do with blood.
• I can always trust my Dad to have a good analogy on him at all times.
• God will send you all the way to Minnesota to hear a sermon if He knows your heart needs to hear it.
• There is nothing much better than a date night with your favorite man in the world, even if there are intense subjects to deal with.
• Naps are good.
• Home is where your heart is, truly.

Blessings!

Hannah

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In Words

Not sure really how to explain this. It may sound arrogant, or horrible. Not sure.

I’ve been realizing the past couple of weeks that I’m not perfect.

No. Really.

I know you all know I’m not. And I’ve known it too. It’s just that sometimes I feel like this life is all a movie playing out in front of me, and that if I just follow the script, or push the right buttons things will just turn out right. Play out the way that they are supposed too.

I suppose my belief in God, my faith, has added to this strange concept for me. My husband has said of me recently that I am oddly covered with an amazing grace for others. I don’t get offended too easily, because….well…actually I don’t understand it. People who are close to me have said and done some pretty horrible things to me, but I am usually, oddly unphased. Usually. I should be mad. Crazy hurt, mad. But I’m not.

I’ve been working on this post for 3 days now. I am still not quite understanding what my heart wants to get out.

I explained to Hubby that it’s like every part of who I am is being challenged, and I feel like I’m losing each and every challenge.

In my heart, it feels like this:

Wife- Failing. Don’t know why I feel this way except that my hubby is incredibly stressed out and I am helpless to help him.

Mother- Failing. I’ve been losing my temper much more often than I prefer. I read how things are supposed to be done, and know quite clearly that I don’t measure up.

Woman- Nope. Still can’t make those babies. I realized today that I haven’t had a cycle in two months now. Great. Yup. Can’t even do that. (Sounds silly, doesn’t it. Oh well. That’s how hearts work sometimes.)

Sister- Failing. I don’t know my role in my sister’s life lately. It’s so complicated.

Daughter- Besides being WAY to far away, and seemingly helpless with all the drama and trauma that’s been occuring recently, this is the one area I at least understand how to be.

Worshipper- Yup, been failing at that too. My faith and reliance in God is probably the strongest that it’s ever been, simply out of necessity. But my discipline SUCKS! I keep WANTING to do more, pray more, read more. I want to study and memorize and soak. I can’t seem to get out of the Psalms, and the same ones over and over. Not that that’s bad, but I want MORE. Even in my ambition to train up the boys,  I’m failing. I can’t rely on my memory forever. Especially  not lately. I’m so tired, and worshipping my Lord, which should be the most essential, energizing thing, seems to be the thing requiring the greatest energy and strength. Can’t do it. Not well at least.

So now I will be teaching in the fall. Kindergarten and preschool to be precise. And I’m terrified. This is a gift that God has clearly given me since I was a little girl, and now I’m terrified that this part of my identity too will be challenged, and that I will fail. Miserably.

Then what will I have left?

See, there’s where the whining comes in.

Good days. Bad days. I understand that they will comes as they will.

I just need to push through this wall somehow.

Somehow.

Blessings!

Hannah

Leave a comment | 2 comments so far (is that a lot?) | Tags: behavior challenges, Being set apart, faith, infertility, marriage, parenting, prayer, RAD, The SAHM Adventure