This is
Hard,
but worth it.
Jeremiah stole again. The same thing he always steals, but he crossed a boundary this time…our bedroom door. Not. Cool. He honestly didn’t think he’d get caught…..for the (not exaggerating) 20th+ time.
I lost my temper.
Hubby lost his temper.
Jeremiah was terrified.
We were too.
Could we do this? Really? For another 9 years?
We apologized. He apologized. We forgave each other.
I told him again what he needs to hear. I love him. No. Matter. What. He did the lie detector test on me. He believed me, for now.
His adoption fears are overwhelming him, simply because he doesn’t understand what it means, really. He also believes he doesn’t deserve it, or that we aren’t the right family. The finality freaks him out, because it’s not here yet. We still don’t have a date.
Daddy held him. Stroked his head. Whispered love into him.
Mommy tucked him in. Whispered prayers, desperate prayers, over him.
He slept.
And we had a great day today. That kind of scares me. Does the good have to be precursed by the bad?
Gabe was grumpy this morning. I joked with the boys that they had a secret meeting and decided that it was Gabe’s turn to be grumpy and disrespectful. Jeremiah said that they held the secret meeting in their dreams. I thought that was creative.
Thank you for your prayers. Keep them coming. And if you see me in Wal-Ma*t, give me a hug.
Blessings!
Hannah
“Does the good have to be precursed by the bad?”
Yup. I like to compare it to labor and delivery. Something really great on the other side, but you can’t get there without the pain … and possible screaming and moaning. Perhaps a little fecal matter on the table.
Stealing gets my goat. GETS MY GOAT! I had to do lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and LOTS of self-reflection and therapeutic thinking to get to the bottom of that … and let it go.
Still totally throws me over the edge, but I can stay regulated now and keep a poker face.
“The behavior that gets the MOST ATTENTION will get REPEATED!
The behavior that gets the MOST ATTENTION will get REPEATED!”
From Denise Best’s “Therapeutic Parenting for Traumatized Children”
And yes, she did write it twice … in bold lettering.
I plan to tattoo it to my forehead.
Amanda’s thought process, “He stole the bedroom door? How does a ten year old steal a door. You’d think Hannah and Kaleb would… wait… The door was the boundery being crossed not he thing being stolen.” Perhaps my blonde moment and lack of reading comprehension will at least make the situation mildly funny.
We are praying. I keep thinking about how thinking about how the Isrealites had to walk around the same desert for fourty years. Until, they were a united nation that could handle anything with the help of their God. You already trust God but the boys are haivng a little harder time trusting you and themselves. You might be walking around the desert for a while until the boys realize you are a united family for real. We are praying for unity and God peace for the boys and you. *hug*