Pushin’ Through and Pizza
It’s been a very tough few days.
Jeremiah has been tantruming at levels of anger I have never seen before. And it’s all directed at me. His anger and viciousness, especially with his words, have really shocked me.
I am so thankful that our Nancy Thomas DVD’s came in at the beginning of the month, cuz they have really helped. Without them, I think I would have felt completely helpless.
I must say that I did fairly well. I did not lose my temper, did not yell, did not physically lose control, stayed in presence of mind, spoke to him softly with as much love and sincerity that I could muster.
Wednesday, the rage resulted in a game of hide and seek, outside and in, that resulted in a handsome, but naive, State Trooper in our home giving Miah a serious talking too….that did nothing. The rage continued for over an hour after he left. Miah eventually calmed, but never regulated. Even at bed time he was still doing his best to show me that he was in control and that he would disrespect me as long as he pleased. He was not successful in that endeavor.
Yesterday, I was tired. I had only gotten a few hours of sleep the night before and needed the morning to spend with two of my best friends and their precious little ones. I needed it so badly. They spoke into my heart, and I left feeling full.
Which was good, cuz soon I would be empty again.
The rage started about 4, after our new (#3) adoption worker came and left. Apparently he didn’t get enough of her attention and decided it was my fault.
He calmed for about an hour, which seems to be a pattern, but he was never really regulated. He started right up again as soon as he got an instruction he didn’t care for. He’d had enough of Mama.
After 2 more hours of raging I needed some help, and Hubby was on his way home from A Town. I called a friend who has worked with Miah before, and is thankfully only a couple of minutes away. She came and hung out while I got some water and mindlessly played my addiction game while praying for wisdom…and for Hubby to get home soon.
He did.
He rescued me.
He told Miah in no uncertain terms that this kind of disrespect of Mama would NOT be tolerated.
He stood up for me in a way that I couldn’t do myself. And it made all the difference…to me. We’ll see what happens with Miah today. Hubby wants him to rage today, just to try it when Dad is around. I doubt it will happen.
Now, the question I get a lot is “Why is Miah doing this?” Excellent question. We broke it down into percentages last night, and it goes something like this:
-10% Trying to prove that Mom and Dad love him no matter what. Or rather, trying to prove that we are going to give up on him.
-90% Trying to make us pay when Jeremiah does not get what he wants, because he wants to do what he wants to do. Those are his words.
That’s all we know.
Today is a new day.
And I just got a call from the florist. Hubby is sending me flowers. 
Blessings!
Hannah
