Premature Book Review

Of “When the Cradle is Empty: Answering Tough Questions about Infertility” by John and Sylvia Van Regenmorter (Say that 10 times fast)

Okay, so I ordered this book on Amazon the other day because, as you well know, I’ve been struggling lately with how to handle my thoughts and feelings about infertility. I picked it up to start reading today and only got through the first chapter, but I can already tell that this book will be very straight forward, real, and practical.

First of all, the authors are from Sioux Falls, SD, which just happens to be my home town. Woot woot! So I knew we were off to a good start.

After a good introduction explaining the background of the authors and a little of their story, the first chapter starts off by talking about the journey that is infertility. The chapter walks through the different stages or steps that many experience on this journey. As soon as I started reading I knew that this book was going to challenge my heart to some realities about myself that I would have to chew on. The first step resonated right away, and the more I kept reading, the more my heart screamed “Hey! This is me! How did they get a microphone into my brain?”

Okay, so the first step is Fog, and the second sentence of the chapter says “You may have used ‘the pill’ for a year or two while you settled into married life and set up a savings account. But you’ve been off birth control for some time and nothing has happened.”

Well, besides the whole savings account thing, that pretty much has described our situation. I went on BC as a very young bride because that made sense. There was no reason to suspect anything was wrong, so of coarse that’s what I did. The pill made me very sick, so after a year and a half I stopped taking it. I didn’t have a cycle for two months, but not biggie, that’s common. But then it didn’t happen for 6 months, and then 9, and then I went an entire year without having a single cycle. WHAT?!?!

That’s the fog.

The next few steps are “The realization”, “Downplaying the problem”, “The Shock”, “Denial and Anger” (Oh, so been there!), “Guilt and Depression”, and the stage I am currently in, “Weariness.” The authors say that it is common to flip flop back and forth between the last two. Yup. Uh huh.

What I loved is that I was reading my own words, so it makes me feel not so crazy. Wow. Other women have gone through these same feelings and SURVIVED!!!

Okay, so tomorrow, maybe I will be able to digest chapter two. I will let you know how that goes.

Blessings!

Hannah

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