Goose Frahba
“Things have got to change. Tomorrow has to be different.”
Yup.
Hubby person and I are having a day of chaos with our youngest. I am realizing that currently I am dreading waking up daily because it will mean another tantrum and more tears…his and mine. Hubby person was very close to giving up this morning, but we talked through it. He realized he is incredibly deeply committed to this kid, and that’s why it hurts so much. At one point, Jeremiah asked to call our caseworker so she could take him back to the group home because he was tired of the consequences. He’s become sadistic. No consequence matters anymore. It’s all about him winning.
So we called our caseworker and she talked him through things. He didn’t actually say this, but she took from the conversation that he is terefied of loving us and being loved and so he is pushing us away first. Classic. We knew that. It doesn’t help.
It’s been like this every day since the day after Christmas.
As you know, I’ve been working on the boys’ lifebooks, and I found out something interesting. Jeremiah was placed in the group home 3 days before Christmas. Wow.
It still doesn’t help with the current behavior, but at least it gives us some clues to why.
So how do we wait this out? How do we show our unending love and yet still follow through with consequences so we aren’t shooting ourselves in the feet later?
And yes, this kind of behavior totally effects the infertility stuff going on with me because, well, let’s just say it doesn’t endear my husband to want to make a child right now.
It’s tough stuff going on. We are doing our best to stay objective and calm. I am trying to get quieter instead of louder.
I’m trying to not lose hope.
My head hurts.
My dishes are dirty.
We are addicted to diet Pepsi.
Blessings!
Hannah
4 Comments
Tomorrow will be different. It may not be any better, though. It could be worse. Be careful what you ask for.
I think you and Kaleb are saints to have taken on such a task. But ………….it seems you are asking for a lot from yourself. Allow yourself to be human, imperfections and all. I have been reading your blog and enjoy it. Sounds like you’re doing quite well with the challenges you have accepted.
“I’m trying to not lose hope.”
Psalm 62:5, Find rest, o my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.
Two summers ago, my mom had an accident at work. She fell and broke her arm badly. It took forever for the bone to mend. But even after the bone mended, it took months for her muscles and tendons and bones to function cooperatively again. Emotional, spiritual, mental wounds take much longer to heal. I will keep praying for you, for your Hubby type, and for your boys. The good news is…we have a great Healer, and even when things don’t look or feel like they’re going in the right direction, HIS promise to us is that He will work everything out for our good and for His glory if we belong to Him. That is such good news, Hannah. Keep loving the boys, as I know you and your Hubby do; and keep overflowing God’s love to them.
And holler if you need me. Ever.
One foot in front of the other is how I get through. Don’t forget to breath. It is hard. Just plain hard.
Things will get better. One step at a time.
Reply