And so it goes

Tomorrow I get my blood drawn to test hormones and such. I have to take the boys with cuz Rachel has to work. I’m hoping we can have a pleasant day and that Miah will hold it together long enough to let me have some fun with him.

I just found out that another friend is pregnant. If you’re keeping track, that’s….. A LOT! I’m trying to not get emotional about it, but it’s not easy. Hubby Person has no idea what to do or say. I’m still praying for his heart in this matter as well.

We have implemented an additional motivational plan to help remind Jeremiah to tell the truth. I’m hoping it will work for more than 1 day.

Gabe is having a hard time taking responsibility for his actions, but that is a battle we are always fighting. He actually told me what was bothering him tonight, which is a miracle in itself. I’m trying to learn to praise him more, because he really is doing well right now, we are just working on detail stuff.

God is working on my heart something serious. I’m not sure right now what His voice is speaking to me, but I’m trying to hear Him. I want to know His heart so badly.

YAY! Daddy, Step-Mama, and Lil’ Sis are coming TOMORROW! They were delayed by the big blizzard, but they are finally able to come. YAY! The boys, especially Jeremiah, are incredibly excited.

Now I have to figure out what I am going to cook this week. We’ve been surviving off of leftovers for a week now.

Blessings!

Hannah

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It worked! And it sucks!

*Warning to my brother and any other male-type people: This post contains words like “period” and “ovaries”. If these words make you uncomfortable, in reference to me, don’t read this post.*

The progesterone worked. I got my period this evening. YAY! Boooooo!

I knew that the hormones were a flowin’ because I have just not felt myself the past few days. I’ve been very tired. I’ve been needing long naps again and haven’t had any appetite. I have been having a very hard time not bursting out into tears at the slightest offense, especially any teasing from my wonderful Hubby Person.

At least now I have an explanation.

So. On Wednesday I go in for some blood tests, On Friday (I think) I will start taking clomid, and then in a couple of weeks I will go in for an internal ultrasound to see how the clomid is working on those ovaries of mine.

Then hopefully, next month my body will do what it’s supposed to on its own. We shall see.

In the meantime, please pray for my poor male household members, that they have patience with me while I get used to what my body is doing.

Blessings!

Hannah

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First Christmas with the boys – Check!

I can’t believe our first Christmas with the boys is already over. It was a good one, though. We made plenty of good memories and had wonderful times with our wonderful family.

Here are a few highlights:

- Christmas Eve

• We started the day with a delicious breakfast of biscuits, gravy, and cheesy scrambled eggs. Yummy! Our pastor’s wife passed on a bunch of her amazing recipes to me as a graduation present, and her “Mile High Biscuits” is one of our favorites. I’ll put the recipe at the bottom of this post.
• After breakfast, we lit the Jesus Candle on our Advent candles and read our Christmas Eve passages. The boys have really loved this tradition, which we usually do after dinner, so we will have to figure out a way to keep it going. What I’ve loved about it is the set passages that are relatively short and come from all over scripture. I haven’t found many devotionals that break things down that well. Any ideas?
• Next, the boys cleaned up the kitchen while the grown-ups finished making sure all presents were in order. The boys finished dishes in record time.
• Finally is was present time. In my family, we always opened presents on Christmas Eve. I’m not sure how this tradition started, but I think it was more practical in nature than sentimental. My dad is a pastor, so we always had Christmas Eve service, than we opened our presents, and then left for Grandma’s very early Christmas morning.
• My favorite present from my hubby was my very own camcorder! YAY! I shot so much video over the past few days it’s frightening. And don’t worry, I will make sure to share an allarming amount of it here.
• The boys loved all their presents, and Jeremiah’s reactions were hilariously enthusiastic. We were worried about him being thankful, but that was definitely not an issue. Way to go, kid.
• After opening presents, we headed off to Christmas Eve service at my husband’s childhood church. It was a beautiful traditional service. It made realize how much I need to teach my boys as far as church history is concerned. I think I may be hitting up some of my homeschooling friends for some ideas soon. Actually, the prize I recently won from Kimberly at Raising Olives will be very helpful in that endeavor.
• After the beautiful service we headed over to Hubby Person’s dad’s house. We ate entirely too many goodies and then opened even more presents with Grandpa K, Aunt E, Uncle J, and Cousin T. It’s tradition that the youngest in the family passes out all the presents, which is all fine and good, but there were a few issues. First, Jeremiah is not very good with names. Second, Jeremiah is not a very good reader. Those two in combination led to nearly half an hour of hillarity. Kaleb’s dad was nearly falling off his chair laughing because Jeremiah could not get the concept that Grandpa was also Kurt etc… Miah started getting a little antsy toward the end, but held it together long enough to get to play with some of his new toys.

- Christmas Day

• Ah, glorious sleep. Both boys were occupied enough with their new bioncles that Hubby Person and I were able to sleep in without a peep from either child.
• Jeremiah didn’t like the fact that Mom caught him in a lie, so an hour long tantrum ensued. I knew it was coming. He had had such a good day the day before, he just couldn’t handle it any more. It ended well though, as Hubby Person had a good long conversation with him about how to handle his anxiety.
• We headed over to Hubby’s mom’s for dinner. Yay, turkey! Yay, real pumpkin pie! We opened up even more presents. My MIL loved the basket I made her, which I still have to post about. The boys got some remote control cars and the spent a good two hours racing them around Grandma’s basement before heading out to sled. Hubby, Rachel, and I played my SIL’s new Wii with her for a couple of hours as well. Wow, it really is a work out.

The only real bummer about the past few days was that my daddy, step-mama, and lil’ sis got snowed in by the big blizzard and weren’t able to make the trip. It was heart breaking, but I am glad they didn’t risk their lives in the 40 MPH winds. They are going to try to make the trip on Wednesday to be here for the new year.

But we are blessed. Blessed beyond blessed beyond blessed. And it has nothing to do with material things, which we have been blessed with as well. How great is it that even though one set of grandparents couldn’t make it, the boys had two other sets of grandparents that loved on them and cherished them?

How great it is that we have a God who enjoys celebrations! Who enjoys us enjoying Him and all He’s given us.

Okay, that’s enough for now.

Blessings!

Hannah

Oh, I almost forgot! Here’s the biscuit recipe.

Mama Char’s Mile High Biscuits

3 C. flour

2 TB Sugar

5 tsp. Baking Powder

1 tsp. Salt

3/4 Cup shortening (I use the butter flavored Crisco sticks.)

1 C. milk

1 beaten egg

Mix flour, baking powder and salt together. Cut in shortening until it resembles cornmeal. Blend milk and egg together, then add to dry ingredients. Mix only enough to blend mixture. Place dough on well floured board and knead 5-15 times. The secret to light biscuits is to not over mix dough after liquid has been added. Cut into biscuits and place on a baking sheet lightly coated with cooking spray. Bake at 425 for 12-15 minutes until biscuits are golden brown. *Hint* Don’t place biscuits too close together or they will not cook through properly.

ENJOY!

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Sometimes we can make it worse response

My dear friend  Christine has a way of hitting issues WAY to close to home at very untimely ( but really, incredibly timely) times. If you are interested in therapeutic parenting at all, or want to know how you can support adoptive parents who are in the thick of very tough things, PLEASE read her post…and then when you get addicted like I did….keep reading.

Here’s my response to her post today.

Thank you.

Hannah

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Relief is spelled D*A*D*D*Y

So, I’m just goin’ to brag on my hubby person a bit.

HE IS AMAZING!

My beloved has been stressed beyond stressed lately, but when he came home on Friday and noticed how wired our 10 year old was, he decided that the only cure for Jeremiah’s wildness was extra Daddy time. And boy oh boy did it work. My hubby took it upon himself to spend major 1-on-1 time with our youngest, even going through “It’s so Amazing!” with him, something we’ve been trying to do for weeks, but haven’t found the appropriate time.

I have seen a huge difference in Jeremiah today. His body language is relaxed. His smiles are genuine. His jokes are innocent and not attention seeking. I noticed it immediately when he got up this morning and I called him on it.

“Miah, what’s different about you today? You seem really happy.”

“Daddy and I had special time last night.”

That was it. Nothing more, nothing less. Daddy made the difference.

This is a hard thing in our family. Daddy has to travel for his work, that’s just how it is. Some weeks he doesn’t, but most weeks he does. Mom does a fine job while Dad’s away, but it’s just not the same. Especially when there are two very needy boys in the house.

Which brings me to my next point. Gabe. He had a hard day today. Lots of 12 year old behavior. Lots of attention seeking. He’s missing the Daddy time. He needs it too, but there is only so much Hubby-person to go around, and right now, for Mom’s sanity, Jeremiah needs the intervention.

Thank you, Father God, for a husband who has so easily stepped into the role of fathering two very hurt, very needy boys. Thank you that he has recognized the need for me to have a break this weekend and has stepped into that role without a second thought. Thank you for his continual sacrifices, and please bless his efforts beyond measure. And when he feels like a failure, when he loses his temper, when he is just so stressed and frustrated with work that it boils over, please help him to give himself the grace that you extend to him every hour. Bless him, Lord.

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Progesterone: Day 2

So far, so good.

I am really sensitive to hormones. When hubby person and I were first married I went on the pill, but after a year I stopped because I got so sick. I would throw up every morning and, in general, did  not tolerate it well.

So, I was a little leery about how I would tolerate the progesterone that my OB prescribed for me. Well, I’m two days in, and so far so good.  I did have a little mishap yesterday when I made the mistake of eating a bagel and drinking some sugar free fruit punch before 8 AM. Yeah. That ended up in the sink. But I am doing just fine this morning.

I’m just hoping it won’t effect my mood too much. I’m having a hard enough time keeping my patience in check with Jeremiah this week without adding hormonal craziness into the mix.

Anyone been through this type of therapy before?

Blessings!

Hannah

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New adventures and old ones

I’m so sorry I’ve been away so long. As I said before, we were dealing with some stalking issues, but they seen to have calmed down for now, so I am hoping to resume blogging as usual, although I am going to have to be careful for a while about content until my husband puts some extra security precautions into place.

That said….

Things are…adventurous. Every day seems to bring something new that the Lord is teaching us as a family, and me individually.

This Christmas season has been exciting. We are doing and Advent devotional together as a family every night after dinner. I found a five candle candelabra at a garage sale last year and it has made the perfect Advent candle stand. The boys take turns lighting the candles each night and everyone in the family has a passage to read. Most of Jeremiah’s passages have been out of Isaiah, and he is getting better and better each time he reads. He loves to read out loud, and it’s so fun to see his confidence grow. The boys love learning more about the Lord and more about the history surrounding Christ’s birth. Gabe has been asking some very intuitive questions, and Jeremiah’s enthusiasm is incredibly contagious.

Both boys are handling the Christmas season and the trauma-versaries that come with them in their own ways. Gabe is, of coarse, very introspective and is dealing with some denial about what has happened around this time in the past. Hubby person and I just continue to reassure him that he is safe and that we are never EVER going to leave him.

Jeremiah is much more vocal about his stress and has been having marathon tantrums the past couple of weeks. Thankfully, when he actually FINALLY breaks down and cries, he is very open about what is really scaring him. The biggest things that he has expressed anxiety over is that he has never been in a family of his very own for Christmas before and he is not sure what to expect. He told me (yes, with his own mouth. YAY!) that it would be helpful if I could let me know ahead of time what is going to happen so he knows that Mom and Dad have things under control. Good to know, kid. He has also been having a lot of birth mom questions lately, which I am trying to handle with sensitivity and age-appropriate honesty. Wisdom on this would be helpful.

Jeremiah had his first Christmas concert tonight, which I will proudly post video of as soon as possible. He was amazing! I mean, he sang well, which is awesome, but the best part is that he participated completely. He sang loudly…on the song he remembered the words for…and when he was sitting down he was quietly paying attention and watching the other performers. I loved being there for my son’s first ever holiday concert. What a memory. Hubby person, unfortunately, had to be out of town this week, but Jeremiah knows that Daddy loves him and that he wanted to be there.

Finally, I am on the fertility adventure again. I had my yearly physical with my OBGYN today, and when she found out I haven’t had a cycle since…ummm…FEBRUARY….she was a little concerned. SO. She did an internal ultra sound and was shocked when she discovered that my uterine lining was only .34 cm thick. To put that in perspective, a typical woman’s uterine lining is 1.0 cm thick on day 14 of her cycle. Right before her period, it can be from 2.0 to 2.5 cm thick. Mine was .34. As if I just had a period…except my last one was 9 months ago. Yeah. SO. She has prescribed progesterone for 10 days to help my body get the signal that “Hey! Do something with the uterus!” After that, we are going to try clomid again, but at a higher dose this time, to try to get those darn ovaries to wake up. WAKE UP OVARIES!!!!

Okay, so those are the current adventures. God is good. He is taking care of us in crazy ways…including putting another infertile, adoptive, Christian mom in my path today in the Christian book store so I could unload for an hour after my appointment before coming home to the boys. If you think of us, pray for us, and if you need prayer, just let us know.

Blessings!

Hannah

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All is well

All is well here. We’re still figuring out the stalker situation, but it’s calmed down a bit. I’m planning on posting some non-personal things later this week, like the pics of the t-shirt basket I made for my MIL for Christmas.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

Blessings,

Hannah

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