The Gabe Game
First the good:
- Jeremiah is making some awesome choices. He’s accepting consequences well (for the most part) and is taking responsibility for his actions.
- Kaleb is doing much better. He is still going through the mourning process after the passing of his grandmother, but he is back to work and excited about his new contracting adventure.
- I am enjoying being at home and am getting lots accomplished, after a good sleeping-in of coarse.
- It is six weeks into the school year and I haven’t gotten any calls about my eldest being suspended.
BUT….
Gabe is playing some major games.
At first we just thought he was lying about his m*space because he was afraid we would take it away from him. We knew that he had smoked at least one day last week, but we tried not to make a bigger deal about it than was necessary, but he still lied. He’s lying about little things, like whether he has brushed his teeth or not. Mind you, this is my 16 year old, and normally a 16 year old could be trusted to brush his teeth on his own, but this is not the case, and sometimes, when your son’s breath smells so bad that you can hardly stand to hold a conversation with him, you need to intervene. That’s my opinion anyway.
Anywho, I understand that a lot of this is stemming from serious abandonment fears that were really stoked after G.G.’s death. That explains the issues he’s been having to even trust us with his daily needs, like food, toilet paper etc…but I don’t understand the lying.
The latest development is he’s been lying to us and his teachers about school work. We send our boys to school with school notes, a half-sheet of paper that asks the teachers whether the boys were on time for class, prepared, showed respect etc…it also has space on the back for teachers to write what homework they have, or if any big projects are coming up. If they don’t bring the note home signed, they don’t have privileges. Both boys are very familiar with this note, and Gabe had no issues with it last year. I got a call from his English teacher yesterday and she said that she was concerned because Gabe has a big paper due this week and he doesn’t seem to be making any progress.
I said “Paper? What paper? I didn’t see anything on his school note.”
She said “School note? What school note? I remember them from last year, but haven’t seen 1 this year.”
Interesting. Very interesting.
After school I talked to Gabe about it. I asked him specifically whether he gave his English teacher the note, and of coarse he gave me an emphatic “Yes! Of coarse I gave her the note.” Then I reminded him that since his teacher called me, I probably knew the truth, and it would be a lot better for him to tell me the truth.
“I’ve been forging them.”
“Yes. I knew that. Thank you for telling me the truth. Now WHY have you been forging them?”
“Cuz I kept forgetting, so I thought I’d forge them.”
“Not true. Why’d you forge them?”
“I’m honestly not sure.”
Neither am I, dear one. Neither am I.
What do you do when you can’t trust almost anything that comes out of your teen’s mouth? Lisa’s Lie Detector Test works, but it tends to be a little embarrassing for my post adolescent.
Lord, give us patience and wisdom. Show Kaleb and I how to love Gabe the way he needs us to love. Touch his heart.Amen.
Blessings!
Hannah
