Cherishing, hoping, and letting go….all at the same time.

This has been a very emotional week for our family, especially my husband. On Monday morning, his grandma, who just turned 90 years old in August, was admitted to the hospital for what they thought was pneumonia. She has gone down hill ever since. It turns out she has an obstructed bowel that is causing some major issues.  She was transported to a bigger hospital, which has it’s pros and cons. The pros are that there are more specialists available to figure out the best plan of action. The cons are that care is much more impersonal. She’s in a shared room, and my hubby has had to really fight for her to receive the attention and care she needs.

Kaleb has been such a trooper. He’s been by her side almost non-stop since Wednesday night. The rest of the family came up from downstate today, so that has helped, but he is still emotionally exhausted. At least tonight he’s not crying so much and is actually able to enjoy watching a movie. He said his better mood is because she actually walked today. There is hope.

This woman means more to my precious husband than I could ever comprehend. This woman raised my husband in her house when the rest of his life was total chaos. His parents went through a time when they were not making very good choices, and his grandma took him and his sister in and saved them from the chaos that our sons have had to go through in foster care.

For the past three days he has not stopped weeping for her.

But today there is hope.

Today there is more peace.

She is 90 years old. She has lived through the Great Depression, numerous wars,  and crazy, harsh, U.P. winters with snow toppling over the roof of the house. She has worked hard her entire life, throwing hay at nine months pregnant. She is a fighter, so we are praying that she will not give up now.

It’s hard to know what to pray now. Should be praying that her passing is peaceful? Or continue to pray for healing? Or simply pray that God’s will be done, and leave it at that?

I am doing a lot of praying for my husband and his father, as they are the ones who seem to most deeply affected.

I am more numb than I would like. I’m even having a hard time staying continually compassionate, but I’m trying. I cried, but not out of sadness, out of frustration of not knowing what to do for my husband to comfort his heart.

Please pray. I don’t know how, but let the spirit give you the words.

Blessings!

Hannah

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