Riding in cars with Gabe
I like Tuesdays.
Tuesdays are Soup Group days.
We get together with our spiritual family, love on each other, and spend some time in the Word. We heap loads and loads of encouragement on each other and, when necessary, offer guidance and correction. Gabe is now part of this family, and I am so thankful.
Gabe’s been making really poor choices lately, and before Soup Group I had lost my temper with him. He plays dumb and chooses not to face the mistakes he’s made, and it drives me KOOKOO! Anywho, I lost my temper. I had to buy some carpet shampoo, so as I wandered the aisles of the store I prayed out loud to “God, that boy makes me so angry. I’m sorry for losing my temper. Please show me how to love him. Please show me how to guide him. He can’t keep doing this. He is going to crash and burn. What do we do, God?”
I got in the car, apologized for yelling, hugged him, and we went to Soup Group. We studied Romans 2 and 3. Lots of law and grace stuff. Very heavy. Lots of assurance. It was good. We prayed together. I prayed that Kaleb and I would have wisdom of how to parent Gabe the way He would want us to. I prayed that Gabe’s heart would be transformed.
I love Tuesday nights, because the night sky and the 45 minute drive home allows openness and opportunity for hard conversations. We left Soup Group. The Holy Spirit came along for the ride. I asked Gabe to tell me what he dreams his life will be like when he is 25.
- He wants to be a mechanic.
- He wants to live in an apartment or a house on a lake in Minneapolis.
- He wants a loving, determined, faithful, trusting wife.
- He wants to be a loving, respectful, faithful, loyal, determined, trustworthy husband.
It was the door I needed. The door God opened.
We talked about the traits he would need in order to see that dream come true. We talked about how if he wants his wife to be able to trust him, if he wants to be a trustworthy husband he needs to start practicing being trustworthy now because it’s not a switch you can just flip on someday. That seemed to hit him. With each dream, we talked about the CHARACTER TRAITS he would need to start developing NOW in order to achieve those dreams.
Here were the biggies:
- Trustworthiness (i.e. telling the truth, doing what you say you are going to do, taking responsibility etc…)
- Diligence (completing tasks well, even when they are hard. Pushing through the tough things without giving up)
- Time management (staying on task, completing things in a timely manner)
He asked about how to chose the right girl. We talked about prayer, and faith, and trust of the other person. I felt a tug on my heart to be very real with him. I told him how his heart has a lot of scar tissue on it right now that needs to be healed before he will be ready for that kind of relationship. I felt God whisper “Tell him how. Tell him how much I want to heal him.” So I did.
I pray Psalm 27:7-14 over my boys. I prayed it over Grace too, and still do. I read it to him, multiple times. I wanted him to hear God’s heart for him. Here’s the Gabe version.
Hear Gabe’s voice when he calls, O LORD;
be merciful to him and answer him.
8 His heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, LORD, he will seek.( I claim this in faith)
9 Do not hide your face from him,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been his helper. (even when he didn’t know you were there.)
Do not reject him or forsake him,
O God my Savior.
10 Though your father and mother forsake him,
the LORD will receive him .
11 Teach him your way, O LORD;
lead him in a straight path
because of his oppressors.(which include his own thoughts, and habits, and hurts)
12 Do not turn him over to the desire of his foes, (including the evil one, the world, and those who want to hurt him)
for false witnesses (including his very own thoughts) rise up against him,
breathing out violence.
13 I am still confident of this:
Gabe will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD, Gabe;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
It’s in Gabe’s court now. God is there waiting. I will keep praying. I am so thankful for my 45 minute commute.
