Help! I’m a SAHM trapped in a working mom’s body! Updated
I need suggestions…solutions…IDEAS!!!
I like my job. I get to help families and work with some awesome ladies.
I hate my job. I am away from my family. I feel like I am never home. I fundamentally disagree with much of what I do becauseI help parents find child care for their brand new babies before they are even born when all I want to do is be home with my kids. I want to home school Jeremiah, but that is obviously not an option right now. I can’t even get Gabe to his appointments without A LOT of begging and pleading.
My wonderful hubby is just not ready to be a one income family.
What can I do?
I live in a very limited area, so simply finding a more flexible job is probably not an option. Also, because of our small population, the usual work-from-home businesses are not profitable here. I am going to try to talk to my boss about options for the school year, but I do n’t see that as very promising. If I can at least figure out how I can be home by the time the boys get off the bus, that would be AWESOME!
I have my BS in Early Childhood Development, if that helps at all. No, I will not open a day care because of my boys’ issues and my critters. Yes, I would love to help families dealing with behavior/discipline issues, but am unsure as to how to turn that into income.
Please, awesome, creative, innovative moms out there, help me! Help me come up with ideas of how we can make this work. Help me know how to hear the voice of God above all the naysayers.
Blessings!
Hannah
***Update***
I suppose I should give a little more back ground on the situation. I’m used to thinking/talking this through that I forget that if I don’t type the details, there’s no way you would know. Some of this is in response to the wonderful comment by Raising Olives.
We have been very blessed. My husband has a good, not great, but good paying job that for the first time in our young married life we are financially stable. Mostly. 
Here are a few barriers to my desire to be a full time SAHM.
1. We have two houses. We DO NOT WANT two houses. We have had our other house for sale for 2 years with no success. We had renters, but now renters are gone. If we can get the house sold, that would be a HUGE barrier gone.
2. My husband is stressed. He is very good at his job, but unfortunately that means that his company continues to pile on the work load. Kaleb has a very hard time saying “No! Enough!” because he feels it would be a threat to his job. There is a lot of fear there, which is why he doesn’t feel comfortable losing my income.
3. Student loans. I have them. Now, compared to the national average, I am doing really well, but the hubby feels that if I am not working in my field I am wasting the 40k that we spent/are spending on my education. I disagree and feel that my education is best used helping our family and any kids/families that could benefit from my knowledge as well, for pay or not.
4. A lack of things to cut. It has been suggested that we cut the extra stuff. A second car is vital in our situation since we live in the middle of nowhere and my husband and I travel opposite directions to go to work. If I were at home, I would still probably need my car in order to get the kiddos to appointments etc… It’s just part of living here. Thankfully, God has blessed us with good, inexpensive vehicles that are not a huge burden. We could definitely cut the cable, and I have suggested it MULTIPLE TIMES but the rest of the family is not in agreement with this. Again, I suppose it’s because we live to far away from civilization that when it’s rainy or snowing (9 months out of the year) there is sense of relief to know you can just turn on the tube. We very rarely eat out, again because of proximity, but this is a luxury that the hubby likes to treat us to now and then. Part of it is that he likes to give. He likes that he can take us out to eat, buy us cool gadgets etc… I think it’s hard for him to feel restricted in that area. Like he’s not even getting to enjoy the fruits of his hard work. I don’t know anything else we could cut. I only get clothes when the ones I am wearing wear out (literally), and I am a huge fan of rummage sales and restores.
5. Matters of the heart. I am totally willing to submit, and am doing so every day I go to work. He’s not forcing me at all, and is not cruel, but his implications are clear. I know that if I were given the clear, unconditional, real choice, I would chose to be home. I feel hurt by the implications that I would be wasting my education at home. I feel trapped and afraid that I may never get to fulfill my dream of being at home with a baby at my breast (yeah, that comes in here too). He feels hurt by the implication that it is assumed he will just do it all. He feels trapped and afraid in a job that he feels may fall out from under his feet at any moment. So you see, this is a loaded issue.
In matters of faith, I have prayed and cried out about this and other related issues. The problem is I have a hard time discerning God’s heart over the pounding I hear of my own.
Cant’ wait till I don’t have to do that anymore.
