Gabe has been in generally high spirits and has been earning more and more privileges. He’s been shooting toward two specific goals and achieved one of them Sunday night after a long day of very hard work. Pop and ice cream are apparently worth a long day of hard, manual labor. The only issues I saw this weekend with Gabe was a return to his “12 year old” behavior, such as using voices constantly, making silly faces during conversations, and general immaturity. I could definitely see the link between Jeremiah’s visit and Gabe’s regression behaviors, so we talked about it and I let him know that, next weekend, those would be the skills we would be focusing on.
Jeremiah had a great visit. Saturday was a very full day. We spent the morning doing some bargain shopping, which was incredibly successful. Besides a couple of private sales, a local store was hosting a huge community yard sale. There were easily 20 tables/vendors of all kinds of stuff, from crafting, to outdoors equipment, to brand new items like toys and household stuff. At one of the last tables I got a brand new king size sheet set for $5. I was so excited!!! It’s a really high thread count too, so that’s always fun. I also came away with a brand new scrapbook, a couple of outfits for Jeremiah, and a new bike helmet for myself. There were some other random things too, but those were the ones I was most excited about. YAY!!!
After getting our fill of bargains we went to the local DQ for lunch and a treat. I got my favorite cherry-dipped cone. Jeremiah got a small M&M Blizzard, but only finished four bites of it, which totally shocked me!
After lunch we went to a friends farm. They are hosting a community garden and this was the first chance I’d had to get over there. Jeremiah had a great time playing with the other kiddos and was enthralled by the sheep, ducks, chickens, cow, and horses. He can’t wait to go back next week. Also, my friend Teisha was there with her little ones, so we got to visit, which is always a blessing. Her parents were up visiting as well. YAY!
The rest of the weekend was packed with all kinds of good things, but mainly, we got to spend some good quality time at home as a family. The windows were open and the fragrant, clean air filled the whole house. Since we live in frigid temps 7 months out of the year, every time spring comes it is such a relief to get the fresh air in and the stale air out. It always reminds me of the Keith Green song “Rushing wind, come fill this temple, blowing out the dust within.” Oh, so good. I feel like breathing deeply now, except I am in an office with no windows, so that would probably cause a sneezing fit.
Anywho, I am posting a video slide show I made of our weekend wanderings, but I realized there are quite a few glitches (such as heads getting cut off and music not playing) that need to be fixed. I will post this version for now, but be looking for the final version later. Also, I used the boys’ real names in the video, so I will be taking it down after a while.
He hasn’t been home on an overnight visit for over 3 weeks. He got to come for the day last Saturday, but we didn’t get to do much together. I have big plans for tomorrow!
Jeremiah is a very early riser. This causes problems on weekends as he likes to wrestle with the dogs, chase the cat, or make zooming sound effects with his legos long before anyone else is even thinking of getting out of bed. Since I am a morning person as well, I usually plan a morning activity for us to do to keep him occupied so the others in the household can get their sleeping-in time.
Tomorrow we are going garage sale-ing! YAY!!! I found out by accident that Jeremiah LOVES garage sales. He has no concept of money, which makes things interesting, but that sweet, innocent face has gotten him some great deals in the past. There are some big sales happening in the town next to us, so we will go, scavenge, and then hit Dairy Queen. Our local DQ is only open in the summer, and I almost never head that direction, so I am taking full advantage and getting the biggest cherry-dipped ice cream cone I can get my hands on.
After we get our fill of deal-hunting, I am going to bring Jeremiah over to a friend’s farm so he can see the animals and play with some kiddos his own age. These are the same friends that are hosting the community garden I wrote about. I have yet to go over because every gathering the past two weeks has either been on Soup Group day or has been canceled by bad weather. I would love a chance to visit with other moms and get my large animal fix. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that they live only a few miles from us and I pass their house often without even know that they were there.
Have I mentioned my obsession with alpacas? I haven’t? Oh, good. That gives me another post topic.
Anywho, Gabe’s plans this weekend will be doing whatever he can to earn mega points. Mowing. Painting. Sanding. He has had a good attitude the past few days and I am hoping it will stick around for a little while.
We are planning on having Gabe keep up with his school work this summer, possibly hiring a tutor. Could all of you home-schooling super moms help me find free (or inexpensive) resources a high schooler could work on this summer?
Temperature swing = 54 degrees in less than 18 hours.
Firefighters are battling spreading wildfires in the county where I work. People are being evacuated. Buildings have been lost. No fun!!! I am praying for their safety. You can read the story here.
We’ve gone back to a point card. The boy (Gabe) is thriving on it. This disappoints us because it means we pushed him into normal life too fast. Our caseworker is taking it as evidence of his institutionalized-ness. I have to agree. His attitude totally changed once we told him that he would be put back on a point card. His face relaxed, his shoulders relaxed, he even smiled. Why would a teenage boy smile at the fact that he was going to have to put back on a system where he earns points for every little behavior? Why? Because it feels safe to him. It’s predictable. He knows what’s coming.
We started him on a 1,000,000 point sub-system, which basically means he is 1,000,000 points in the hole and has to earn his way out of that hole before he earns full privileges back. We’ve set up little motivators for him all along the way, like today he got to choose his own clothes to wear to school, by the end of today he should be able to get his hats back. His big one that he is shooting for soon is when he reaches -850,000 he will get to go on fun family outings (movies etc…) the big one being a trip to a bigger city to go clothes shopping and stay in a nice hotel with a pool. He does NOT want to miss that.
His attitude yesterday and the day before sucked big time because Kaleb and I were prodding him to complete a major class assignment before school is out for the summer at the end of this week. With two suspensions under his belt, the boy can NOT afford to miss this big project, which has been the focal point of the entire class.
Thankfully, last night we were able to leave him with our close group of friends at Soup Group, while we got to spend some time as a couple. He requested to be prayed for after sharing how he hasn’t been making very good choices lately. He got ministered to by people who really care what happens to him, and he said he totally felt something come over him and touch his heart. (That’s called the Holy Spirit, btw). The only thing that irked me is that he was so open with these people who barely know him, but he hasn’t shared half that stuff with us, or even apologized for his behavior. He spent a good half-hour talking to a good friend of ours who spoke the truth of God’s love over him, but he hasn’t reached out to Kaleb in that way. I tried to explain my concerns to my friends, but I don’t think I was very effective. I’m just afraid of classic RAD triangulation. I want my son to be close to me, and especially to be close to his dad.
Thankfully, Gabe’s openness at group allowed us to have a wonderful talk on the way home. This was one of those times when I was thankful for the 45 commute to anywhere. I shared with him my honest feelings about my fear that he would get close to other adults when he wasn’t reaching out to us. He shared how hard it is for him to get to close to people, and I told him I understood, and that it was okay for now, but that he would experience a lot more in life if he allowed the people who love him most to touch his heart. We talked a lot more about some really deep issues, and there were even some genuine tears, but I am afraid to get my hopes up that the effect will last.
RADical parents, especially those Jesus lovers, PLEASE share your wisdom with me. I’ve wanted to be a mom for so long, but now I am afraid of being played. How do you pray for your RADishes? Or any of your kids? Is there specific scripture you pray over them? Please share. PLEASE!
Oh, on a very HAPPY note, Jeremiah called while we were away last night and left the SWEETEST message on our answering machine! “Mom, I miss you. I really hope I can come home this weekend….. I love you!” Oh! That sweet little voice made my day.
The boy got suspended…AGAIN!!! For the same flippin’ thing! All he had to do was go two weeks, 15 little days, without getting into trouble, but NO he gets caught with chewing tobacco in GYM!?!??!?!?!
Sigh.
The hubby is PISSED! We don’t know what to do. We are running out of things to take away from this kid. He is going back on a point card for one. That is going to SUCK! For him and us, be we totally think it is necessary.
He’s suspended until next Thursday, the last two days of school before summer.
OOOH!!!! I just don’t get how you can be so impulsive as to not be able to go 15 frickin’ days without doing something stupid and getting caught? He had 1 week of school left! THAT’S IT!!!
Well, back to the drawing board.
Any reality discipline suggestions would be most welcome.
when your husband, who just came back from California, needs a little quality time.
I am feeling better today, but had a few comical moments this morning when my sweet hubby was kissing me passionately and I had to pull away so I could get a breath. Near suffocation was well worth it. Well WELL worth it. Am I smiling too much? I think not!!!
I got to have lunch with a friend this afternoon, which made Kaleb jealous as I went to his favorite restaurant for his favorite lunch buffet. Mwahahahaha! But he went to Cold Stone in California, so I don’t feel bad. Not one bit!
I have to work late tonight, but tomorrow is Friday, so I am happy.
No other news to report. I am hoping Jeremiah gets to come home this weekend. We shall see.
Sick today with my third sinus infection in 3 months. Praying for a release of God’s healing over my body. Asking for forgiveness for accepting that it is just my lot in life to be sick all the time. Taking huge antibiotic pills. Made an appt. with an ear, nose, and throat specialist June 1st. Thanking the Lord for an understanding boss and sick days.
So Kaleb finally had to use his work laptop for…work. This meant that we were actually computer-less at home for a period of time. Well, that is a lie because we have lots of computers around, even a clumsy desktop in my room, but no lappy.
Anywho, now we have a brand new Mac! YAY!!!!!!
Here is what I did with our new toy…I mean tool today.
Sunday will me my first Mother’s Day being a mom. I’ve waited for this day a long time.
Unfortunately, but probably for my good, my bubble has been burst a bit by blogger friends that have adopted children who know that this particular holiday is often one of high anxiety for our kids. One that can bring about the worst in behaviors. This post by my friend Claudia really shook me into reality. I told her that if I break into uncontrollable tears later today, I was blaming her post. She told me that would be okay.
So far Gabe seems very excited about celebrating Mother’s Day with me for the first time. He is plotting something special with Kaleb and has been very adamant that I not know anything about it. This has got me more than slightly curious and excited. I brought up the whole “Mother’s Day must be tough for you” subject last night, and I told him I would understand if he didn’t really want to celebrate and he told me,
“I will always celebrate. It’s what I do.”
Well, Okay then.
Jeremiah can’t come home for the weekend because of recent behaviors stemming from lots of changes going on at the group home. Thankfully, they are allowing him to come for a day visit tomorrow. I am getting very tired of this whole back and forth thing, and I know he is too. In fact, one of the reasons for his recent behaviors is that other children are being discharged from the group home who have been there a lot shorter length of time than he has. He sees it as unfair, we just see that he needs to come home. Anywho, mother’s day could be a totally different issue with him, so we shall see.
Before I go, here are my special Mother’s Day shout outs to the special women in my life.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! Thank you for training me into the Godly woman, wife, and mother I am becoming. Thank you for your intense love for me. Thank you for always listening to me and always wanting more of me.
Happy Mother’s Day, Laraine! Thank you for being my friend and a huge encouragement. Thank you for praying for me and for reassuring me when times get tough.
Happy Mother’s Day, Dori! Thank you for bringing your son into the world and helping him become a Godly man of character. Thank you for asking my opinion and caring what I have to say.
Happy Mother’s Day, Grandmas! I am so thankful to have to many of you.
Happy Mother’s Day, Marge! Thank you for being my friend and my mentor. Thank you for making me part of your family.
Happy Mother’s Day, Ket! Thank you for being such a faithful wife to my brother and such a loving mom to my neice and nephews. God has big things for you, and I can’t wait to see what they are.
Happy Mother’s Day to all my blogging friends! Thank you for encouraging me and teaching me and allowing me to be there for you. I pray your day is one filled with peace and joy and that you feel loved. For those of you struggling along with your kiddos, I pray God brings an overwhelming sense of His presence.
The only issues I saw this weekend with Gabe was a return to his “12 year old” behavior, such as using voices constantly, making silly faces during conversations, and general immaturity. I could definitely see the link between Jeremiah’s visit and Gabe’s regression behaviors, so we talked about it and I let him know that, next weekend, those would be the skills we would be focusing on.
