This is going to be hard…but I think I gotta do it.
As I posted about before, God is really dealing with my heart on a lot of levels. He wants more of me. He wants more of my eyes, more of my ears, and more of my time. My heart He has, and even my body, but those other things are lacking. He wants all of me, and that is a tough thing.
The imminent move in of a certain 16 year old boy (on Saturday! Happy Birthday, Gabe!) has got my brain thinking even more about this because I realized that when he is over we watch A LOT of TV. Or rather I realized that we always watch a lot of TV, but I just became aware of it because his 16 year old presence was making me self-conscious in its true sense.
Then, I read a wonderfully upsetting post by Margaret in Minnesota, and the comments that followed, that has really convicted my heart that this is what God is leading us to. I say “us” because the whole family is TV addicted. We are looking at some alternatives, cool, tech-savvy stuff, but I want to set a realistic goal of cutting the majority of my TV time out.
Here’s one of my major hurdles: I can’t handle silence…or even quiet. I sleep with noise on (either a CD or the fan), I have to work with noise on (yay Pandora), and cleaning tasks REQUIRE loud music…NOISE! So either Heidi Baker is going to be getting a lot of listens or I am going to have the entire set of FOTF Radio Theater’s “Chronicles of Narnia” memorized. Or maybe, God wants me to learn to be SILENT so I can hear HIM?
I know that my filters can handle most of the “yuck” that is out there, but should I need to have so many filters? Have my filters become clogged so that I am going to start spewing “yuck” without even realizing it?
God, you tell us to be Holy as you are Holy. I am not sure how to do that. It’s going to hurt isn’t it? I’m going to stand out even more than I already do, aren’t I? But that’s the point, right? I hear your heart, and I hear what it means to my life, I am just not sure how to implement it, or how to get my family on board. Please give me courage. I want to seek you, not Heroes or Lost. I want to seek your will for me, not Oprah’s. I want to be who you want me to be, not who TLC wants me to be. Be my excitement and my rest. Be the voice I hear in my head and in my heart. Give me courage.
3 Comments
I suspect you are an auditory learner…. and maybe words of affirmation are your love language (one of them). If so, then you are “wired for sound.” I would commend you for establishing times of silence in your day. Just like a naturally social person NEEDS time alone, and an introvert NEEDS time with people (whether or not they think so…) Sometimes what would be most helpful at the moment is counter-intuitive.
I have allowed myself just one or two programs a week on TV. Pick and choose. It will make them have more value. If your default is currently to turn on the TV “when you have nothing else to do,” change your default. This will not be the last thing a teen in the houses causes you to re-evaluate! Blessings to my Michigan daughters and the ones who love them!
I am totally an auditory learner, which is why I can remember conversations, lines, scripture, and songs so well. Now I just need to convince the rest of the Tuimala house hold.
Yikes, I know how hard it is to give up T.V. We gave it up a year ago, but got reconnected last summer (without a satellite). I am to addicted to TLC – so I can never ,ever get satellite again.
I will say that the spring months are the hardest b/c I love American Idol and DWTS – but I’ve weaned myself to just those two (okay, okay, with a little Bachelor every now again and Extreme Home Makeover. I love my reality shows.) Now… if I could just tackle my addiction to blog reading… lol
Reply