Being Content

There are a lot of things I want to be, but am not currently being. I want to be a mom…duh…if you haven’t figured that out yet then you are denser than the pizza dough I made once with no yeast. What you may not know is all that is involved in that dream.

· I   I want to carry a baby in my womb, feel it move, feel it jump.

· I   I want to have a natural birthing experience at home…possibly a water birth.

· I   I want to breastfeed my baby for as long as possible, or at least until we are mutually ready to wean. Even if I can never carry a baby myself, I still want to breastfeed…which thankfully is very possible.

· I   I want to try using cloth diapers and carry my baby in a nifty sling close to my body.

· I   I want to be a domestic diva, learning how to cook gourmet, healthy meals for our growing family.

· I   I want to teach my children at home.

I want to have chore charts and home work time and video of the kiddos building forts in our back yard.

Those aren’t evil or even unrealistic goals, but God is dealing with my heart, even as I type. I am focusing so much on what I am hoping and wanting for a future that may not ever happen that I am becoming incredibly discontent in what, and where, and who I am right now.

⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I am definitely not being very thankful right now, God. Forgive me for not only disregarding your blessings, but for not wholeheartedly thanking you for them.

⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

God, I need your peace. I hear you saying that if I give you thanks, and give my worries and wants to you in a thankful, joyful way NOW that you will give me the peace that will gaurd my heart from all of this deep saddness and discontent that has come over me. Help me to do that, Lord.

Thank you, God for

- a house that has more than enough space for the children you desire for us to have in our family.

Okay, see what I did there. That discontent is just bleeding through. Change my heart, O God. What do you want me to do with these desires? How do you want me to thank you? Everything seems to lead back to children. Can I thank you that way and still have the peace I need? Can I thank you that way and not let it breed discontent in my spirit? Let’s try…

• Thank you, Father that you have created me with a nurturing spirit.
• Thank you that you have given me the natural talent for dealing with stressful situations in a creative and postive way. Thank you that you have given me lots of chances to practice this gift.
• Thank you that I have friends who are willing to let me play with and love on their children.
• Thank you that you are preparing me daily to be the woman you have called me to be, regardless of how that calling manifests.
• Thank you for a husband who is a friend and lover. Thank you that you are preparing his heart for what you have called him to be and us to be as marriage partners in you. Thank you that you are preparing his steps and his heart and that every day you are bringing him closer to the purposes you have for him.
• Thank you for parents that support me and can listen to my heart.
• Thank you for a job where I can help families that really need your love. Thank you that you are are showing me how to show your love to them. Thank you that through this job you are teaching me the ins and outs of a system that can be very complicated and scary to a lot of people.
• Thank you for giving me a head and a heart that loves to learn and research everything to do with child development. Thank you that you have and are going to continue to give me opportunities to apply this knowledge. Thank you that every word that has entered my mind by your will will not return void, but that you will use it for your perfect purposes.
• Thank you for a beautiful house that is teaching me how to care for a household and training me for whatever purposes you have in mind.
• Thank you for your Holy Word that speaks to me over and over that you love me and have called me according to your purposes through Christ Jesus.
• Thank you, Father. Thank you, Father.

9And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

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